International Incidents
by Digital Skitty
Summary: Kakashi, and somehow Deidara as well, get shipped overseas as foreign exchange students. The only problem? ...Everything. Let's all cause an international incident! -AU, high school, yaoi, foreign languages-
1. One: Cultural Accidents

**Author's Note**: Eithne partially owns some of the ideas in here, partly for inspiring me with her simply uber AU stories and ideas (go read) and partly for coming up with a few 'characters' during a phone conversation we once had. X3

**Back Story**: This is an AU (alternate universe), set in our day and age. Kabuto attends an international boarding school in England, and is in charge of the foreign exchange student program at his school. This is partly due to his high grades, strong sense of responsibility, and partly due to his pen pals all over the globe. Recently, one of his pen pals, a boy from America, has entered into the program and is going over to his school--and country--for a year. Only there are a few catches…

**Quick Note**: Okay, this story is based on stereotypes and personal experiences. The thoughts and speech of characters does not reflect my own thoughts on any subject. If you have any problem with either stereotypes or realistic experiences, please do not continue reading any further. There will also be foreign languages, though mostly they'll be explained or you won't be meant to know. This story will also contain yaoi and possibly yuri, in a light sense. There will be guys kissing guys and girls kissing girls. There will also be heterosexual couples. There will be swearing, sexual innuendo and dirty humor. Have I caught the attention of the fangirls yet? XD

-.-.-

The whole thing seemed surreal. Kakashi could hardly believe it, in all honesty to himself and the situation. He wasn't in America. He wasn't in his own country. He was in a foreign place without any parents, teachers, or supervising adults who knew him personally. He was relying on a foreign pen pal to rescue him from the airport terminal, and all of the staring adults. Not to mention the woman at the desk in front of him who wouldn't stop glaring at him.

Kakashi gnawed on his lip, sorely tempted to pull his scarf up over his face. But he would probably get called a terrorist and get shot. Instead he just kept his passport in an iron grip, shouldering his backpack. Damn the weight restriction. You could only bring so many pounds of stuff with you, and then were given a certain monthly allowance to buy the rest of your stuff. For a _year_. (Worse, most of the clothes he would be wearing would be school uniforms. He couldn't even impress all of the hot foreign kids with his American style.)

Mismatched eyes slid all around the terminal, trying not to get lost in the crowd. Businessmen and women were shuffling around, the occasional tourists (who really _did_ stick out like sore thumbs), and the suited and armed security guards. And he was relying on a foreign pen pal whom he had never met in person to rescue him from this and whisk him away to some magical school, away from parents and problems--and maybe he had been reading too much Harry Potter. Kakashi grimaced, instinctively raising his hand to cover his mouth. Did they read Harry Potter over here, or only did snotty American kids read that stuff? Would it be polite to ask?

Already the panic was setting in, he noted, depressed. Relying on some foreign British kid to rescue him…At least he wasn't alone.

Kakashi looked over to his traveling companion, and his (rather unwilling) partner in this whole escapade. The blonde was currently playing with a lighter, trying to set a nearby woman's skirt on fire.

"Are you _trying _to get us shot?!" Kakashi brought his fist down on top of Deidara's head, and instantly the blonde dropped the lighter to protect himself from further assault. "This is an airport! You don't play with fire in a fucking _airport_!"

"Hey, hey!" Deidara squawked, running into the crowd for protection. Kakashi chased after him, determined to cram that lighter down his throat--and any other hidden ones he had smuggled along with him. The two students zigzagged in between people in the Heathrow terminal, sliding in their shoes on the polished floor. People shot them dirty looks and yelled at them, but the anxiety from the flight and customs was channeling into their running, and blocking their hearing. Deidara made for the nearest escalators, and Kakashi swore loudly and in a very American way. (Or so he assumed.)

The blue-eyed blonde vaulted over the side of the fence keeping people from falling down a floor, landing on the escalator halfway down. There were a bunch of shouts and screams, and Kakashi almost stopped, honestly debating whether or not to disown him.

After a moment's hesitation, however, Kakashi decided to save his friend. And whoever the poor guy had landed on.

-.-.-

Kabuto sighed, running a hand through his light locks. The first day was always the most stressful with these kinds of programs. But at least he knew what this one looked like--no more annoying signs to lug around.

_Kakashi Hatake. Should be a few good centimeters taller than me, light grey hair…American…_Of course, Kabuto really hadn't met that many Americans, even being in charge of the foreign exchange student program at his rather large school. People (usually the snobby, stereotypical kind, but still) said that Americans could be spotted in a crowd, but how, he had no idea.

He glanced down at the picture Kakashi had sent him for reference. The boy was a year older than him, and had that natural charm and charisma that made him perfect for these kinds of things. Programs, really. Kabuto blushed a bit, smiling to himself. He and Kakashi had been 'dating' over the internet (a thing he insisted was quite common in the U.S.), but this would be the first time they met face to face. It was more than a bit unnerving, and of course there was more at stake than just international stereotypes and manners.

He was startled out of his reverie by an impatient clearing of the throat. Sasori eyed him, a bit warily, his brown eyes lidded as always. Kabuto grinned at him. "I'm just looking at the picture again. For reference."

"_C'est vrai, _I'm sure," the redhead mumbled, averting his eyes. He was a foreign exchange student as well, though he was staying for three years total--this would be his second year in England. His English was impeccable, though when he got excited or started talking quickly his accent got pretty thick, and he commonly used French words and phrases. Kabuto was slowly learning the language from him as well, mostly out of necessity from being his roommate.

Kabuto was just glad that Americans and the English at least shared a common language. For the most part, at least. No more annoying language barriers. With that as a reminder, though, he silver-haired boy remembered that he had two Japanese students coming in during Christmas break…

"Have you seen anyone that would look like him?" he asked casually, scanning the crowd. No one stood out--definitely no one with as light as hair as Kakashi.

"_Non_. You would think that someone with _cheveux blancs_ would stick out in a massive crowd," Sasori said. His accent was beginning to surface, and he was starting to use more French words. Kabuto raised an eyebrow, surmising that the redhead was getting nervous at meeting Kakashi. Probably from all of the things Kabuto had told him about the American, but that was beside the point.

"He doesn't have white hair…it's more…light grey," he muttered, still looking around in the crowd. There was some yelling down the terminal, but that was probably the norm. After all, Heathrow was a large, international airport, and it was somewhat inevitable that there would be arguments and fights between people.

Unfortunately, the fight seemed to be coming towards them, or at least the volume was increasing. Kabuto frowned; couldn't people just get along? Hopefully the security guards would break it up soon, and send whoever those trouble-makers were to jail.

Sasori's half-lidded stare was steadily slipping into a glare. Kabuto knew the French student didn't like crowds, and unfortunately he was true to his nationality; he liked foreigners even less. Foreigners en masse, at least. Kabuto gave him a reassuring smile, still looking around for Kakashi. Maybe he should see if they could page him over the PA system…

Security guards were now running past them, towards all of the yelling and screaming. But not moments later, the crowd broke apart and two figures came barreling out. Kabuto, who had half-turned to look back at the disappearing guards, managed to jump back to avoid a collision. Sasori was not so lucky. A blonde slammed into him with enough force to send them both flying, sliding on the polished floors into the nearest wall. Kabuto's hand slapped over his own mouth to stop him from shouting--or laughing. Several guards were still in pursuit, though seemed to have lost their blonde target due to the sudden redhead trying to untangle himself from him.

"_Sapristi! Condamne-tu! Descendre-tu, maintenant! Descendre de moi, touriste stupide! Idiot!_" Sasori was practically snarling and spitting, turning red enough to match his hair. Several passerby snickered at the scene, and Kabuto glanced around for any remaining guards. They seemed to have passed on, or at least missed the collision. Which was probably for the best; no need to be causing an international incident.

Whoever had narrowly missed Kabuto had now jumped into the fray, shouting desperately, "Deidara, get off of him, get off, he doesn't sound happy, you're going to get us shot!" The guy tugged his blonde friend free of an irate Sasori, who jumped up a moment later, looking venomous. Kabuto did a double-take, however--not because of his roommate's expression, but because of who was apologizing fervently to the redhead. He was taller than any of them, with spiked, light grey hair and wearing obviously American clothes.

"Kakashi?" Kabuto asked in disbelief. The American student turned in mid-sentence, looking surprised. His face lit up, however, when he recognized his pen pal.

"Kabuto? Is that…is that you?" he asked, pitifully hopeful.

Kabuto only nodded dumbly.

Kakashi left the blonde and Sasori, rushing over to embrace his new guide--and boyfriend. "You're here to _save_ me from the blonde menace! Oh thank you, thank you!"

Kabuto didn't quite know how to react to that--wasn't the blonde his friend? What was this about a menace? Unfortunately, Sasori saved him from reacting properly.

"_Excusez-moi_," he said politely, tugging on the blonde's sleeve. (Kabuto honestly didn't know whether it was a boy or a girl. It looked like a boy, sort of, but then again, it was American.) The unsuspecting victim turned to face him, and Sasori punched the kid in the jaw. _Hard_. The English teen's own jaw dropped, and he pushed Kakashi away to go restrain Sasori.

"What are you doing?!" Kabuto shouted, dragging the shorter boy backwards out of kicking range.

Kakashi had risen to the challenge of likewise holding back his blonde friend, hissing death threats and more '_are you trying to get us shot?!_' under his breath.

Sasori, after flailing a bit, went limp in Kabuto's grasp. The silver-haired teen could have fainted in relief. Honestly, this was _not_ how one was supposed to greet students from another country! "_Me libérez, s'il vous plaît_," the redhead said sweetly, no doubt glaring daggers at the blonde a few meters away.

"I am not letting you go to continue beating that poor…American," Kabuto replied primly. "Kakashi, I'm so very sorry that our greetings had to be held under these circumstances." He lifted his gaze to Kakashi's, but the taller boy just grinned lazily back.

"No problem. I'm sure we'll all calm down when we get some coffee into our system. Me 'n Deidara are only operating on about three hours of sleep right now; I'll blame our moods on that. We can hold proper introductions after that," he explained, clamping a hand over the blonde's mouth.

Twenty minutes later, the two Americans were ecstatic that England that Starbucks. Kabuto was watching almost in awe as Kakashi guzzled several cups of coffee, after figuring out which coins to pay with. Deidara, if that was the blonde's name, was also drinking coffee like water. The issue of the unexpected guest was…surprising, to say the least. Kakashi had been the only one that was supposed to be coming. So what was with the androgynous blonde?

Wanting to break the silence but almost frightened of interrupting two teens with their caffeine, Kabuto turned to Sasori. The French redhead was still sulking, his own latte completely untouched. He had also reverted to speaking completely his native language, irritatingly enough. Sasori glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, answering before he could ask, "_Je n'ai pas besoin de lui_."

Kabuto took a moment to figure out what he meant--but finally it hit him. Due to the quirk of other languages assigning genders to inanimate objects, it had confused the Brit when he translated it as 'I do not need him'. Of course he was referring to the drink…though he could mean Deidara as well. Hopefully it was the drink.

"So…again…Sorry about that. Deidara and I were just…running…and we weren't watching where we were going. Sorry…Sasori, was it?" Kakashi's eyes were on his empty cup, not daring look up at either of them. He seemed almost…shy. Kabuto smiled slightly at the sight; he hadn't pegged him as the shy type. Though admittedly, the current situation may have changed that.

"_Oui_," Sasori replied shortly, glaring at everything but the two sitting opposite them.

"Hmm, yes. Kakashi, this is Sasori, my roommate. He is a French exchange student. He--"

"_Je ne parle pas Anglais. Je parle Français seulement_," he interrupted, quite rudely. Kabuto raised both eyebrows at what he said, however--which was a blatant lie. Sasori's glare, however, answered him.

_Maybe he's just shy at meeting these two and doesn't want to speak to them…?_ Kabuto wondered, but he also thought that it might've just been wishful thinking. Still, whatever Sasori's reasons were, he may as well go along. For the moment, at least. Plus the redhead was probably so flustered he _couldn't_ speak English very well right now. "…Yes. Sasori is a French exchange student, and he doesn't speak English. I'm, er, trying to teach him some, but right now I'm just acting as his translator."

"Oh. Well, nice to meet you, Sasori." Kakashi gave him a warm smile, to which the redhead just blushed slightly and looked away. "…Right then. Well, you two, this is Deidara. My, uh, somewhat last-minute traveling companion." He stood up, dragging the blonde up alongside him. Kabuto and Sasori also stood up, shaking hands politely.

Kakashi, however, didn't quite seem satisfied with a mere handshake. He grabbed Kabuto around the waist and pulled him into a hug, again, but this time turned and caught his lips in a kiss. Deidara looked simply amazed at the display, but Sasori took it all in stride--probably because the French greeting (albeit usually only for girls) usually had kissing as well. Well, hopefully not kissing like _this_. After all, this was hardly platonic.

When Kakashi finally let him go--feeling a bit light-headed--Kabuto just stared at him for a long moment. "I've been wanting to do that for awhile now," the American said sheepishly, grinning roguishly. "You may think that's a bit rushed, but we've been 'dating' for a few months now…and hey, I'm American. We love rushing into love."

"…That's alright with me," Kabuto replied, blinking slightly. No doubt he was redder than Sasori's hair, but oh well. He would be willing to pay that price if he could get kissed like _that_ every time he greeted Kakashi.

Speaking of Sasori, it looked like they had come across their first cultural accident.

Either misinterpreting the kiss as a regular greeting or possibly merely wanting to kiss Deidara, the redhead had grabbed the blonde's wrists, yanking him forward, and planted a kiss directly on his lips. They had definitely found out his gender, as he was currently spluttering something about being gay in a very non-feminine voice. Sasori, on the other hand, merely pointed him out to Kabuto, saying, "_C'est un garçon_."

"What the hell was that?!" Deidara demanded, blushing madly. Sasori, however, was still looking at his roommate.

"_J'ai pensé que seulement le Français embrassé dans la salutation,_" he said skeptically, and Kabuto sighed once he puzzled it out.

Kakashi looked torn between laughing and questioning, but Deidara was thoroughly demanding an answer for that bizarre and totally random kiss. "He said…he just thought that we were greeting each other. He thought that that's how Americans greet each other…" Kabuto explained wearily. Judging from the smug expression on Sasori's face, he had a sinking suspicion that there wasn't quite as much ignorance as he would have liked to believe.

"Well that was gross, yeah. Not to mention gay. Like, really, _really_ gay, yeah," Deidara growled, crossing his arms. Kakashi gave him a pointed look, clearing his throat. The blonde reddened, adding, "I mean…it was just weird, yeah…I know the French are pansies and all, but I don't want to get kissed by every French guy I see!"

"Do you _want_ to get us _shot_?!"

"…This isn't going to go over very well. We're going to cause an international incident…" Kabuto groaned, running his hand through his hair.

"_Oui_," Sasori stated blandly, watching dully as Kakashi attempted to throttle Deidara.

"Don't sound so smug about it."

"_Oui_."


	2. Deux: Ne Nous Perdez Pas, S'il Te Plait

**Yes, I have decided to continue this.** I don't know when it'll be updated, but I do have three complete chapters done as a buffer…

Author's Note: Again, a lot of these scenes are drawn from personal experience. I do not claim that anywhere mentioned or visited is always like this.

-.-.-

"And you will be staying just down the hall from us, and you two will be roommates. Your room number is 87; ours is 84. I'll make another copy of your key for you, Deidara, and I'll probably give you a copy of a key to our room once I can. Our first day is the sixteenth of September, so we still have a few weeks before classes start. I'll be your guide to the school and England, so ask me if you have any questions, okay?"

Deidara raised his hand. "Question."

"Yes?" Kabuto asked cheerfully, smiling. It was the morning of their second day in England, and they had successfully found the school and given them a tour the first day. Today would be donated to London and shopping for some clothes they'd need.

"Are you _always_ so damn chipper in the mornings?! At _six A.M., no less_?!" the blonde growled waspishly. Kakashi may or may not have agreed with that; he was sleeping standing up instead. Sasori snickered from behind his hand.

"You're not used to getting up this early?" Kabuto asked, somewhat unnerved by the outburst. He was more worried about Kakashi's stance on the subject--though from his soft snoring it looked like he probably agreed with Deidara. The blonde elbowed him in the side, jerking him back into consciousness.

"Ehh? Wha?" He looked around, trying to gather his bearings. "…Wha' time is i'?"

"Six in the fucking morning," Deidara responded, stifling a yawn.

"Ohhhh…Kabuto, 'm sorry…but 'member when I told you we were operating on 'bout three hours of sleep?" Now only minimally more awake, Kakashi rubbed his eyes as he tried to stay upright long enough to answer. "We need to catch up on it…sorry…"

"_C'est magnifique, vraiment,_" Sasori said snidely, watching as Deidara swayed on the spot. He didn't seem nearly as amused when the blonde pitched forward onto him again, and he was assigned the job of carrying him back into his room to put him back to bed.

Kabuto feared that Kakashi would perform a similar stunt, but instead the light-haired teen just sagged against the doorway, head drooping forward onto his chest. The English student put him back to bed as well, writing him a quick note for when they woke up, and then retreated back to his own room with Sasori in tow. There were a few things they needed to speak about, anyway…

"Sasori, _why_ did you say that you only speak French? And why haven't you spoken any English since they arrived?" Cheerful pretenses dropped, Kabuto was all business now. It was his job to take care of the exchange students, and the French teenager was just complicating the issue.

Sasori, infuriating as always, just shrugged. "_Je ne_…I do not know." His accent was as thick as ever. Kabuto hadn't thought that having two new exchange students would impact him this much, even if one of them was unexpected.

"You do know, you just don't want to tell me," he accused dryly, sitting down on his bunk. Maybe getting a few more hours of sleep would do them all some good. London was always stressful, anyway, especially with foreigners.

"_Oui_," he replied simply, shrugging again. After a few moments, he added, "Zat blonde one is strange."

"I don't know him, so I cannot contribute anything to that. He's Kakashi's friend, though…I assume we'll get the story behind his sudden arrival soon enough." He didn't like the subject suddenly changed, but if he went along with it, maybe he could twist it back around to find out what was wrong with Sasori.

"Kakashi…is nice. You two 'ave been dating for several months?" Sasori asked sweetly, obviously determined to keep the subject away from the no-man's land. Kabuto laid back on the mattress, sighing. Sasori could always be gauged by the strength of his accent. His emotions, on the other hand, were always a whole other story. He would just have to count on judging his accent, then.

"Yes, we have. He didn't just come to England because of me, though--though he is sweet enough to attempt such a thing. He's caring, and kind, and determined…and handsome…"

"_Oui_, he is," the redhead agreed casually. "You're lucky."

Deciding to try something, Kabuto said, just as casually, "You know he wants to be an ambassador in the future? He has been thinking about being the American ambassador in France."

"That is interesting," Sasori said simply. His accent actually toned down, so Kabuto tried another tactic.

"I wonder what that Deidara wants to be, career-wise."

"I do not care," he replied stiffly.

Kabuto smirked to himself, continuing, "He was most definitely handsome as well, wasn't he?"

"_Non._ Zat is up for debate. I personally do not zink 'e is zat great to look at." The accent was back in full swing, and Sasori suddenly knew he was caught. The silver-haired student sat back up on his bed, smiling deviously. The redhead flushed, instantly denying it but damning himself all the same. "_Ce n'est pas vrai, c'est faux, c'est faux!_ I-I just like ze American style, is all…"

"Oh, I am thinking you like the American style quite well, Sasori."

"_Non_. 'e is a little American brat. 'is 'air is nice and 'is eyes are quite _beaux_. _Je n'aime pas que Américain_."

"I didn't say anything about liking him, but if you are denying it so vehemently, I may have to think that you're hiding something," Kabuto said casually, watching in amusement. But then, he reminded himself that he was supposed to be in charge of these foreigners, not playing matchmaker. If Sasori was getting flustered and uncomfortable around Deidara because of a crush, they would have to work them out themselves. Today, Kabuto's job was to get them outfitted for the next year.

"_Fermez la bouche._" Sasori crossed his arms haughtily, and more than a bit childishly. He suddenly looked a lot younger. Telling Kabuto to shut up probably didn't help that image.

"I'll be quiet about it, if only for simplicity's sake," he conceded, putting up his hands in a gesture of defeat. "At any rate, I am supposed to take them both to London today to get them clothes and supplies. Would you like to come? You probably need some things as well, anyway…"

"…_Oui_…" Sasori oh so reluctantly agreed.

"We can let them sleep another two hours, probably. It wouldn't hurt to take a nap." Kabuto laid back down on the bed, still in his clothes. They'd get wrinkled, but who would care? "Oh, and Sasori…if you want to get to know Deidara a bit, try talking to him. In _English_."

-.-.-

Three hours later than they had originally planned, Kakashi and Deidara were on their way to London. The school was about an hour away, and they were about halfway there. Unless Kabuto was lying to them just to get Deidara to quit asking how long it'd be before they got there. He sighed; the blonde would undoubtedly get them shot before the year was over. Or before the week was over.

Said blonde was currently twitching his fingers, staring out the window. Probably missing his lighter. Not trying to upset Kabuto--or any British officials--Kakashi had gone through Deidara's things earlier, taking out anything relatively flammable. They did _not_ need an international incident due to the student's pyromanic tendencies. That was part of how he ended up with Deidara in this program in the first place.

Kakashi was in the front with Kabuto, who was the only one who had a driving license that would be legal in this country. He felt a bit bad for making him drive, but he knew he'd feel even worse if they got pulled over and got arrested or something. Plus he would probably be driving on the wrong side of the road.

"Are we there yet?" Deidara asked for the umpteenth time.

Kabuto took it all in stride, graciously keeping his patience. Kakashi could have kissed him--if he wasn't driving and if he wasn't too busy throttling Deidara. "We have about ten minutes before we reach the outer limits. Is that fast enough for you, Deidara?"

"Yeah…" he replied sullenly, still fidgeting. The driver had yet to notice, thank God, but judging from the looks in the rearview mirror at Sasori, he had noticed. He didn't seem amused, either.

"_Il est très impatient_." Kakashi didn't need to know the language to catch the word 'impatient' in that sentence. Deidara didn't, either, and shot Sasori a dirty glare. The French student didn't seem fazed, and instead smiled pleasantly at the blonde. (Which only seemed to infuriate him more, of course.)

As they neared London, the traffic slowed down. Kakashi started counting cars as they crawled by, noting that there were next to no large vehicles, aside from buses. He saw a sparse few vans, but absolutely no pick-ups. "Why are there so many small cars here, Kabuto?" he asked, turning back to look at him.

"When gas is eighty-nine pence a liter, it pays to have smaller cars with better gas mileage," Kabuto replied simply, though Kakashi had no idea how pence equated with dollars.

"Deidara, how many liters are in a gallon?" He turned in his seat, both curious as to how much gas prices were and trying to get the blonde's mind off of burning something.

"I don't know…yeah. Six?"

"_Non, environ quatre_," Sasori said dryly. Kabuto glanced back at him, an unreadable look in his eyes. Kakashi didn't miss that, but as to what it meant he had no idea.

"He says about four, and I believe he is correct. Pence are like cents to dollars, only ours are to pounds. I believe the current exchange rate for dollars to pounds is…two to one? It's not particularly good for the dollar." He chuckled slightly at the aghast expression on his boyfriend's face.

"Two to one? You mean for every two dollars we have we only get one pound? That means that we only have…five hundred pounds to buy everything we need?" he asked incredulously. "And that means gas is…over seven dollars a gallon."

Deidara's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "And we thought gas in the U.S. was bad. Jeez, yeah."

"How much is fuel in America?" Kabuto asked, visibly perplexed by their reaction.

"Only about three dollars a gallon. Which would be…uh…" Working backwards, Kakashi wasn't quite sure how to make that back into liters and pence. Divide by eight?

"_Trente-huit_," Sasori replied calmly. The silver-haired American was somewhat amazed by his math prowess, and for the first time wondered what grade the shorter boy was in. He had taken him to be younger than him, but if he could figure math out that quickly, maybe he was in their grade.

"Thirty-eight pence. Wow." Kabuto whistled lowly, nodding to himself. "I wouldn't complain about those prices, but then again, this is England. Just wait until you see London prices."

For the first _real_ time, Kakashi appreciated that he was in a totally new country.

-.-.-

London's sidewalks were possibly even more crowded than the streets. True, it was the weekend, and nearing the end of summer. Still, Kabuto felt nervous in the crowd with three people who would very easily get lost. "Come on, this way, we don't want to get separated!" he called, ignoring the jostling of the crowd. This would most likely end up badly.

Kakashi appeared through the sea of people, dragging Deidara by the end of the scarf, who was followed by Sasori. With a smile, he took Kabuto's hand in his own, saying, "It'll be easier if we hold hands so we don't get lost. I wouldn't want to lose you, now would I?"

"Mm, true…" Kabuto was too busy trying to avoid people and cars to care extraordinarily that he was holding Kakashi's hand in a very public place. He still had his grasp on Deidara's scarf, though Sasori was merely following them at his own pace. The British student immediately called him over, worried that he would get lost or separated. Even though he'd been living here a year, he had only been to London a few sparse times. Plus, anyone could get lost in that city. "Stay together, stay together, _please_. If we get separated, Sasori and Kakashi, you have my cell number. Deidara, uh, you just stick like glue to one or both of them. We won't get lost, I know exactly where we are…just don't let go!"

"_Tu agisse comme ma mère_," Sasori remarked dryly.

"Well if you would stop acting like a child I wouldn't have to act like your mother!" Kabuto snapped back without turning. Kakashi was visibly trying not to laugh at their antics, but yet again, the guide was too busy to particularly care.

"While we're complaining as a group, yeah, I would like to interject that Kakashi is strangling me with my scarf," Deidara deadpanned, still playing tug-of-war with the striped fabric. Sasori reached up and tugged the scarf effortlessly out of Kakashi's grasp, letting it drop between them. The blonde was surprised by the gesture, blinking in surprise.

He halted after a moment to adjust his scarf, and the redheaded student turned back to watch him, almost looking like he was waiting. Deidara blushed at him, narrowing his eyes in a glare. He ignored Sasori as he stomped past, catching up to Kakashi and Kabuto, the other exchange student following him like a puppy.

The crowd was as bad as ever, but the four managed to cram into a clothing store without too much hassle. Kakashi and Deidara both had one thousand dollars--five hundred pounds--to spend on enough clothes (minus their school uniforms) to last them a year. Well, clothes and whatever else they wanted. After that, they would get a monthly allowance, but it would be next to nothing compared to this big spree.

Unfortunately, Kabuto hadn't been kidding about the prices in London. The shirt was nice, but it wasn't worth thirty-four dollars. Kakashi continued browsing through shirts, hoping to find something relatively nice that was _under_ ten pounds. It seemed like an impossible feat. Every was _so_ expensive here! Or maybe it was just the store. Either way, Kakashi didn't quite feel comfortable spending so much on clothing.

Dejectedly he made his way back to stand next to his boyfriend (whom he still couldn't get enough of), empty-handed. Kabuto gave him a questioning look. "It's all so expensive."

"Check the clearance rack." He pointed over toward the other side of the store.

Kakashi, though, as not only an American but a New Yorker, didn't feel comfortable shopping on clearance. "I don't shop like that."

"You know, in London, you have to shop clearance if you want to buy anything," Kabuto said sympathetically, giving him a lopsided smile. "We'll have you thinking like a proper Brit in no time, Kakashi."

Deidara walked over to them, evidently in a very good mood, if the pile of clothes in his arms was anything to go by. Sasori trotted up behind him, hands empty, but wearing a price-tagged hat on his head. Kabuto glanced at him, noting how much the redhead seemed to be following his new American interest, and smiled cheerfully at them both. "I see you're not having any problems finding clothes, Deidara."

"Nope. I like shopping," Deidara chirped in reply. He wandered off to find the dressing rooms, Sasori still following him silently. Kabuto could only hope that the redhead didn't do anything _too_ French.

"Come on, I'll go help you pick out a few things." Instead he turned back to Kakashi, grabbing his wrist and leading him over to the other side of the store. Maybe it was just now beginning to sink in that his _boyfriend_ was _here_, in front of him, but Kabuto wanted to see him in some different clothes, not the oversized hoodie he was currently in.

-.-.-

Deidara was somewhat unnerved by Sasori following him, especially when he didn't say a single word to him. It was beginning to get awkward. Even random French words would be better than silence. He was almost starting to think that Sasori would follow him into the dressing room.

Luckily, the stoic redhead did no such thing. But he did wait outside, still playing with the tassels on his hat. Deidara thought he looked rather childish like that, and wondered just how old the kid was. He was pretty short, so probably a year or two younger than them. Plus he just looked so cute and young and innocent.

He examined himself in the mirror, checking out the pants he'd tried on. A bit too tight for his tastes. He didn't want to _dress_ gay, damn it. These foreign sizes were all off, anyway. The blonde went through his pile relatively quickly, mostly because after trying the clothes on, he decided he didn't like them quite as much as when they'd been on the shelf. Then again, that type of thing usually happened with him.

"Huh." He picked up one of the other shirt he'd gotten, holding it up against himself. It was much bigger than he thought it was (damn those sizes), but he still liked it. Trying it on, though, the bottom hem came down halfway to his knees; this shirt was a _lot_ bigger than he'd originally thought. Still, it was nice, and warm. London was _cold_. The blonde stepped out of the changing room, looking for his redheaded escort. "Hey, Sasori, I know you don't speak any English or anything but just nod or shake your head. How does this look, yeah?"

Sasori looked up from his hat (which he'd pulled off and messed up his hair even more than it usually was), cocking his head to the side. "…_Elle ressemble à une robe._"

Deidara had no idea what he said, especially since the infuriating little French student basically deadpanned the remark.

Unfortunately, Kabuto had heard it. "What? Deidara's in drag?" He peeked around the corner, arms full of clothes. Kakashi, wearing a nice, black dress shirt, was likewise interested in the statement and came over to look.

"_What_?!" the blonde squawked indignantly, feeling his face heat up. "What the hell did he just say?!" Sasori looked pleased with himself, smirking as Deidara glared at him.

"He said that the shirt looks like a dress." Kabuto was visibly trying to hold back laughter, though more for the unlucky blonde's expression than the actual shirt. Kakashi wasn't even bothering to hold his chuckles back.

"I hate you all, yeah," Deidara snapped, stalking back into the dressing room. Glancing at himself in the mirror, he was blushing madly. Still, he _did_ like the shirt. And he could always just use it as a sleep shirt or something--or perhaps _as_ a dress some day to bug the hell out of them. (And it was on sale.)

He dumped the rest of the clothes he wasn't buying in the return bin, folding the three shirts and one pair of pants he was buying over his arm. When he came back out, Kabuto and Kakashi were no where in sight--but Sasori was still there, wearing his hat again. Deidara pointedly ignored him, snorting slightly as he turned to pass him.

There was a tug on his sleeve, though, and he turned to glance back at the redhead. Sasori looked up at him, hands still pulling on Deidara's sleeve. "_Désolé. Tu es beau, vraiment._" The blonde had no idea what he was just told, but the tone sounded almost…apologetic.

"Okay…whatever, yeah. I'm gonna go pay for these." He gestured to the clothes in his arms, nodding towards the nearest check-out. Sasori bobbed his head, still holding onto Deidara's sleeve.

"_Oui_. Zat shirt looked good on you, anyway."

"Oh, well, thanks--_wait_." He turned on him in disbelief. Not only had the guy just complimented him, but he did it in English! Kabuto had said that he didn't speak any--so who was lying? "You speak English…?!"

"…_Non._" Sasori immediately reddened, ducking his head to avoid eye contact. Obviously his remark had been accidental.

"Liar, yes you do! Come on, say something else in English! Yeah!" Deidara demanded, putting his free hand on his hip.

"_Autre chose en Anglais. Oui._" Sasori stated. His voice was smug, but his face was still a big red from his slip.

The blonde didn't know _exactly_ what that meant, but he could grasp the basic idea. "…You're an infuriating little kid, yeah." Deidara snickered as he pulled on the sides of the hat, pulling it down over the redhead's eyes. "I'll just go ask Kabuto."

He was halted by a tug on his scarf, a none-too-friendly tug. Losing his patience, he turned and saw Sasori glaring up at him from under the bottom of his hat, frowning. "_Non_."

"Let go."

Another yank on the scarf. "_Non._"

"Let go, yeah."

"_Non._"

Deidara turned to grab the scarf, trying to tug it out of his grasp. Sasori wouldn't let go, stubbornly wrapping it around his wrist, pulling the blonde towards him in the process.

Kakashi chose that moment to pop up. "Hey, you two, Kabuto said to--oh, sorry, am I interrupting something?"

"_Non._"

"Is that a leash?" he asked in interest, grinning. "Man, Deidara, have you been whipped already?"

The blonde turned on him, nearly choking himself in the process. "No--"

"Kakashi, could you come here for a moment? I want to see if this shirt would fit you." Kabuto called from across the store, holding a top in the air.

Kakashi perked up at the summons, immediately smiling. "Coming!" he practically sang.

"'e was…contradicting 'imself a bit, wasn't 'e?" Sasori asked, perplexed by the scene. Deidara could sense the irony in not only that, but also in the fact that Sasori had spoken again in English.

"Why are you talking in English _now_?" Deidara asked, craning his head back to look at where the redhead still had a grip on his scarf.

"_Je suis facilement embarrassé, et il est plus facile de parler en Français_." he said in rapid French, ducking his head. "_Excusez moi, désolé._" With that last unintelligible statement, Sasori let go of his scarf, disappearing in Kabuto's direction.

Deidara scratched his head, frowning. "Okay…now what the _fuck_ did he just _say_?"

-.-.-

Kabuto was just glad that the day was passing quickly and with relative ease. He was beginning to relax in the massive city, and Kakashi and Deidara were definitely enjoying themselves. It was probably just because they didn't have to haul around their shopping bags, instead leaving them in the car. But whereas the two new exchange students were having fun, Sasori seemed withdrawn and skittish. Kabuto had a sneaking suspicion Deidara had said something to him, but it seemed rude to ask.

But usually he was too busy with Kakashi to worry about his roommate much. The American boy seemed to be wanting to make up for lost time, and they had been dating for several months. At every red light, or every time they had to wait for either of the other two, Kakashi would nearly jump him, push him against the nearest wall, and start kissing him. Usually it caught Kabuto off guard, but he was beginning to read his boyfriend better and better, and could start sensing when he was going to get ambushed.

Not to say the kissing was bad--it definitely wasn't. But at the same time, Kakashi hadn't been joking that Americans 'loved to rush into love'. The British were generally more reserved about dating and kissing, saving it for more serious relationships, and the whole thing so far just seemed more than a bit rushed. Still, the kissing was definitely nice.

It was on one of those pauses when the light suddenly turned green. Kabuto pushed his boyfriend away, gasping out, "The light--green." Kakashi frowned innocently, leaning in to try to steal another kiss. Kabuto laughed at him, adjusting his glasses. "Come on, we can cross and then I'm sure you'll find another reason to jump me in a few minutes."

"Probably. I won't deny the charges," he replied cheerfully, letting himself be led across the street. Several of the girls who had been watching them make out were keeping very carefully within earshot, though seemed disappointed when they turned on the corner to go a different way. Kakashi put his arm around the shorter student's shoulders, ignoring the squeals from the disappearing girls behind them.

"Are there any more clothes you want? Or do you want to go shopping for something else?" Kabuto asked, giving him another lopsided smile.

"Actually, I would like to hear some British music. There isn't a lot of it in America, unless you count the Beatles."

"The Beatles are thoroughly British," he replied primly with a sniff. Kakashi shrugged, chuckling. "Say, Sasori, how would that sound? Want to go shopping for music?" He ducked out from under Kakashi's arm, turning around to face the other two.

The only problem was, they weren't there.


	3. Drei: Kisame

"_Pourquoi?_" Sasori asked, rubbing his temples. "_Pourquoi moi, pourquoi moi_?" Deidara didn't quite know what it meant, but he had a feeling it was a rhetorical question. Either way, the redhead didn't seem to be in a very good mood.

After all, they were now successfully lost in London.

Alone.

And, if you wanted to be _technical_, it was Deidara's fault.

But it really _wasn't_ his fault, of course. He was a foreigner and had no idea that they sold cigarettes in vending machines here, for basically anyone to buy! In fact, he was more than awed at it. He had had some _problems_ in America concerning lighters and a few home-made Molotov cocktails, but damn, if he could have legally (or easily) gotten cigarettes and burned them it might've been avoided. Truth was, Deidara had always wanted to start smoking, if only for the social status and the excuse to whip out a lighter at random times.

"Why, _why_ did you want to stop at zat machine, anyway?" Sasori hissed, his accent thicker than ever. But at least he was speaking English. "You are a child. You should not be smoking."

"Hey, I'm an American, yeah. Stereotype signifies that Americans smoke," Deidara retorted. The redhead just grabbed him by the wrist, trying to drag him away from the cigarette machine before he could dig out the necessary change to buy some.

"It is unhealthy and a stupid zing to start!" he ground out, playing tug-of-war with the American's arm. "Just because I am French does not mean zat I smoke and drink wine all of ze time! Stereotypes are idiotic and you should not change your actions to match zem!"

"Well you certainly have the snobby part of the French down, yeah." Deidara let go of the vending machine, albeit a bit grumpily. Sasori let go of him as if burned, narrowing his eyes. The blonde just glared defiantly back, drawing himself up so their slight height difference was more prominent. He smirked down at the shorter student.

Sasori just crossed his arms, glaring back up at him. He tapped his foot impatiently. "Well?"

"Well what?" he asked, caught off guard by the tone of his voice.

He rolled his eyes, and sighed. "Nevermind. Let's just go--we need to find a payphone to call Kabuto."

-.-.-

Kabuto was hyperventilating. Which he really couldn't remember doing ever before; it was an interesting experience. Or rather, it would have been, if his brain wasn't being overloaded with oxygen right now. And if his mind wasn't elsewhere, anyway.

He could have kissed Sasori when he finally found them again. (Judging on the redhead's dark expression, though, that probably wouldn't have been a wise move.) Instead, he was almost tempted to kiss Kakashi. Because of how relieved he was, of course.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god…Oh god, I'm hyperventilating. That's not good." Kabuto told them all. Sasori nodded boredly, crossing his arms. Kakashi and Deidara watched with varying amounts of amusement and worry.

"It is quite amusing zat you can diagnose yourself even while you are still 'yperventilating, Kabuto," he remarked dryly.

"Sh-Shut up, Sasori. You _know_ how much trouble we could have been in."

They were back at the dorm, now. Illegally, Kakashi had driven them back, because Kabuto probably would have had a heart attack if he'd had to have any more responsibility lobbed on his shoulders right then. He was still mildly panicking. Still, all four of them made it home safely. With not nearly enough clothes to last the first month, but they could get more in a more local shop if need be. Kabuto obviously wasn't planning on taking them back to London any time soon.

Kakashi ran a hand through his hair, the other planting itself on his hip. "We are _so_ goddamn lucky that no one found out. What was that lady's name? Tsunami?"

"Tsunade," Sasori corrected immediately, standing up a little straighter. Apparently the thought that they'd get caught hadn't crossed his mind. "_Oui_…"

There was a knock on the door.

Four teenagers simultaneously jumped, Deidara falling backward in his chair and landing hard on his back. Sasori, the closest to the door, hesitantly opened it a crack, peeking out with one eye.

For a moment, they all feared the worst, and their rather short lives flashed before their eyes.

"_Offen die tü_r, you bastards!" Sasori was practically thrown aside as the door opened completely, slamming against the wall with what sounded too much like a gunshot for their fragile minds.

The voice was flawlessly English, though the words before were flawlessly…whatever the hell they were. Kabuto hung his head, sighing in obvious relief. Deidara was picking himself up off of the ground, mouthing the foreign words as he tried to figure out what they meant. Then he looked over his shoulder at _who_ had said them.

He was easily the tallest in the room, and much more muscular than any of the others. Along with that intimidation factor, he had _blue _hair. It was gelled slightly so it stuck straight up at odd angles, and yet it was still held back by a very interesting headband. His eyes were a pale yellow, practically colorless, and all in all, the two Americans were pretty much scared shitless as he strode purposely into the room.

This stranger looked around for a few moments, and then locked on to Sasori, who had somehow wound up behind him and was trying to edge out the door. "Sasori!" he boomed, and leapt back over to grab the French student. He grabbed him around the shoulders, steering him effortlessly back into the room. Deidara was fairly certain he'd heard something crack when this intimidating stranger grabbed him, however.

Deidara and Kakashi both moved behind Kabuto unconsciously, keeping a barrier between them and the intruder.

"Introduce me, introduce me, introduce me, introduce me, now, damnit! Hurry up you lazy-ass Frenchie! I can't believe you two kept fucking _Americans_ away from me for so long!" he rambled on, pushing Sasori up until he was standing in front of Kabuto--and the two trembling Americans. He then stood back, and waited impatiently for the introduction. Boot clicking as he tapped it, this blue-haired stranger was certainly…strange.

Kakashi and Deidara paled in unison when they finally recognized his outfit. Kabuto looked like he wanted to grab the nearest weapon and stab whoever this was. Sasori looked like he'd rather be anywhere but here.

"Kisame--_what are you wearing_?" Kabuto asked. His voice was calm, but you had to be deaf to miss the undercurrent of rage.

"Ehh? This? I thought I'd just wear this today--"

"Bullshit!" Kabuto stood up angrily, crossing his arms. "My god, are you trying to get someone shot here?"

Kakashi leaned over and whispered to Deidara, "Looks like we aren't the only ones who are looking to cause an international incident."

Kisame--if that was what this German student was named--shrugged, and didn't look too overly concerned that he might get deported. (Because it was now very obvious that he was, in fact, German.)

"I thought it was amusing." Sasori interjected with a chuckle. Kabuto gave him a glare that could peel paint.

"Well, look at it this way." Kisame said calmly, holding up his hands in mock surrender. He waited a bit too long to continue. "When the two Japanese students get here in December, then we can reenact World War II."

"Hey!" Sasori growled, before Kabuto cut him off.

"Look, you just barged in here, wearing a goddamn _Nazi uniform_ and you think you can get away with jokes?! You're lucky I don't report you to Tsunade--"

"Kabuto, sweetie? May I intervene before you decide to nuke Germany?" Kakashi put a calming hand on his boyfriend's shoulders, steering him towards the bed. The silver-haired Brit looked up at him mutinously, though didn't say anything else. "Look, it was a funny joke. No need to get so caught up. You're just upset because of the London incident, right…?" With one hand behind his back so Kabuto couldn't see, he gestured the others out of the room.

Sasori eagerly vanished, and was halfway down the hall before either Kisame or Deidara could flee the scene as well.

Kakashi wished they'd at least shut the door, but he didn't trust himself to let go of Kabuto just yet. So he just sat down on the bed beside him, and wrapped his arms around his shoulders comfortingly. "Look, we've all had a stressful day. I'm sorry. If I hadn't been pouncing on you so often, then they wouldn't have gotten lost in the first place. But see? We all made it back, no one's in trouble, and the German kid just wanted to say hi to the Americans…"

"Yeah…Kisame's been looking forward to your arrival for some time…" Kabuto admitted reluctantly. At least he wasn't hyperventilating anymore. Now, he just felt tired. "You are the first Americans he's met in person, and I suppose he wanted to see what you were like…"

"Me?" Kakashi couldn't help but blink in surprise. He hadn't expected Kabuto to tell others about him, but then he realized that he might as well take what he could get. It was cute, and it saved him a lot of awkward explaining.

"U-Um, yes. Anyway, I'm sorry." Kabuto hastily scooted away from him, rather red-faced. "I suppose I overreacted, but I was stressed out. …Needless to say, none of this day happened, as far as Tsunade is concerned."

"Oh, but of course." Kakashi took it in stride, giving him a wink and a grin. "Now, is this lady really so bad?"

"You've never met her. She's a _titan_. You'll have to meet her eventually, though, probably during orientation. All of the foreign exchange students go up in front of the school and either introduce themselves or just say how much the like the school…formalities, you know…"

"We have to…get up in front of a crowd?" Kakashi swallowed audibly, and suddenly looked a bit paler.

Kabuto was a bit surprised, but then smirked and leaned in a bit. "Oh my…is the great Kakashi Hatake scared of public speaking?"

"Of course not!" He laughed it off.

-.-.-

Kisame turned out to be a German foreign exchange student--though that much had been obvious by his introduction in a Nazi uniform. He assured them quite fervently that he wasn't a Nazi, and it was more of a practical joke than anything. He loved scaring the newbies; Kisame had been here the second longest out of any of the exchange students, only after Sasori. He seemed pretty easygoing, though he liked to swear and punch things a lot.

"Yeah, I only came to this country because I was practically kicked out of Germany," he told them quite innocently. "Bunch of shit about gang fights and stuff. I had to go into a reform program, and things just escalated from there. And I ended up in England."

Kakashi rolled his eyes at the explanation, though Deidara turned an interesting shade of pink and hastily shoved the lighter back in his pocket.

"_Oui_, quite the delinquent." Sasori likewise rolled his eyes.

"Of course, it's not exactly a reform program we're running here, but we can't exactly tell other countries what to do with their children," Kabuto said quickly, stamping out any negative ideas they might have had about the school. Kisame and Sasori both nodded as well.

"Oh, I don't think that would have worried us at all." Kakashi smiled, and Deidara looked away rather guiltily. "The nerve of some countries, sending their trash overseas."

"Technically, Germany isn't really 'overseas' from England--we're next to France, and that's just across the English Channel," Kisame replied with an equally vapid smile. "So then how did you two little angels get here, _ja_?"

Kabuto moved a bit closer to Kakashi, visibly miffed about someone else calling him an 'angel'. This, of course, had Kakashi grinning rather like an idiot. "Well, I met _this_ little angel--it seems as if we're all just angels here, except for the delinquent--online some time ago, and there was an exchange program at my school, and with a great deal of luck, we managed to end up at this school. It was fate, obviously."

Kisame leaned over towards Sasori, asking in an overly loud whisper, "Are all Americans this sappy?" The French student shrugged with a smirk.

Deidara huffed, crossing his arms. He had worn the 'dress-shirt', as he called it, today. Mostly to bug Sasori. And indeed, he saw the redhead's eyes look at him from time to time, making a rather amusing half scowl, half pout.

"While we're on the topic," Kabuto said quite casually, though it was obvious he'd been planning on asking this for some time, "Deidara, how did you get added on to this trip? From what I managed to get from Kakashi, it seems like it was a very last-minute deal."

"Oh…yeah, it was…" He felt nervous now, though it was alleviated slightly by Kisame's mere presence. Maybe foreign exchange students weren't all goody-goody, honors kids… "It was pretty much a rushed job, yeah."

"…And why?" Kabuto inquired politely, though he was hell bent on getting a straight answer. And not only for his own curiosity; Tsunade would want to know. At least, she _should_ be somewhat worried if an extra kid was running around her hallways.

"Well…you know, Kakashi and I don't go to the same school. In fact, my school wasn't even offering the program, and I had never thought about heading somewhere else for my junior year, yeah," he started, rather slowly. He kept his eyes either on the ceiling or the floor, avoiding eye contact. "Then…it just sort of snowballed."

"…_Pardon_?" Sasori asked, perplexed.

"Yeah…what?" Kisame echoed.

"_What_, exactly, snowballed?" Kabuto inquired, much more politely than either of his counterparts. Kakashi smirked, and hastily hid it behind his hand.

"I had a bit of a…Kisame complex, yeah." Deidara shrugged it off as nothing. "Some shit with some pyromaniac tendencies and a few, uh, accidents involving various explosives." Since he was met with blank, somewhat shocked, stares, he quickly amended, "Oh--nothing _major_, of course, yeah! Just like a few small arson cases and a problem with a backfiring Molotov cocktail."

"…Small arson cases?" Kabuto repeated. Kakashi ducked his head, somewhat embarrassed by the whole situation. It wasn't like Deidara was a bad kid, really he wasn't, but he just had some…pyro tendencies, as he so aptly put it. Luckily, he'd already confiscated all of the lighters he could find, and hopefully now the others could keep an eye on him as well. No need to be causing an international incident, after all…

"_Merde_," Sasori said simply, shaking his head.

Kisame, however, was still stuck on, "…Kisame complex? I have my own problem named after me now?"

"Yeah, sorry about this. He was stuck in the program because he had the choice of doing better in school--and joining a required minimum of at least one extracurricular activity--or going to juvie." Judging from the three foreign students' expressions, Kakashi quickly clarified, "Juvenile reform school."

"…Ah. Tsunade should probably be notified of that," Kabuto said finally, nodding slightly. Deidara scowled.

"I only joined this stupid program because I didn't want to stay with how things were back at home. I promise that I won't set fire to anything while I'm over here, but it's not like you have to chuck me in jail or anything, yeah."

"I hardly doubt you'd go to jail, Deidara," the British teen said primly, absently pulling on his sleeve's cuff. "I'm just going to make sure Tsunade knows about this situation. I'm sure nothing serious will come of it."

"Yeah, yeah." The blonde shrugged again, and stretched, mumbling something that sounded like 'like I haven't heard that one before' under his breath. "So then, now that we have all that shit out of the way, when do we get to register for classes? What kind of art programs do you have over here?"

Sasori perked up slightly at the mention of art, but said nothing. Kisame grinned, and instead spoke for him. "Class registration starts next week. So you're an artist, huh? What a coincidence."

The redhead irritably punched him in the arm. Kisame returned it--with interest. It was enough to knock Sasori off balance, and backward onto the floor off of his chair. The blue-haired German laughed at him, and Sasori responded by elbowing his chair leg, so he sent him toppling over as well. Soon enough it had degraded into little more than a brawl, and Kabuto just sighed. "Come on, ignore them. They do this quite frequently."

The two Americans edged carefully around the two, listening in something like awe at all of the barely coherent German and French they were suddenly learning. Most of it probably wasn't suitable for repetition. "So…why are they fighting? I think we missed something," Kakashi said carefully, yanking his foot out of the way to avoid getting tripped.

"Sasori--umm, nevermind. It's just a foreign thing." Kabuto was suddenly smiling quite cheerfully, and ushered Kakashi and Deidara out of the room quite hastily. Turning around over his shoulder, he hissed, "Break it up, you two. I already covered for you once, Sasori--you owe me. And Kisame, if you try something like that uniform again, I'll deport your arse so fast it's not even funny."

-.-.-

Kisame left the four, begging out with some vague mention of other plans. Sasori didn't seem particularly sad to see him go. "Oh, don't mind them. They're actually quite good friends. They were both the only foreign exchange students for about a semester, so they bonded in that time. Bonded by trauma, probably," Kabuto explained with an overly cheery smile. "I feel sorry for them, actually. I wasn't here to induct them, so to speak, so Hidan had to take over for me."

"…Who's Hidan?"

Kabuto chuckled, though it didn't sound particularly delighted this time. "Ohh…my assistant, if it could be called that. You'll probably meet him later…I'll hold introductions during the registration, so you can meet the staff there and the other foreign exchange students."

"How many others are there?" Kakashi asked. Truth be told, he really _was_ curious about other countries. Unlike Deidara, he hadn't been forced into the program. He was actually using it as a learning experience, rather than an escape.

"Hmm…let's see." Kabuto actually had to start counting on his fingers. "Two from Russia, arrived earlier this summer, two from Spain, one from Nepal, two coming in at semester from Japan, Kisame from Germany, and then we just have one from Ireland who visits occasionally. And we've had family from a bunch of the students come up to visit once or twice…Sasori, that reminds me. Is your family coming up again for Christmas?"

"_Non, c'est pas possible_," he sighed, though didn't sound terribly sad. "Since I am going back next summer, they think I can--'ow you say--toughen it out this year."

"Oh, I see. Oh well." Kabuto shrugged. "Since you two are only staying a year, your families probably won't come to visit, will they?"

Deidara snorted sardonically, which was all the answer he needed. Kakashi rubbed the back of his head, smiling uncertainly. "I don't think so. Though I wouldn't put it past mom. She was sobbing when I left for the airport…"

"Parents are normally like that." Kabuto smiled wistfully, looking away. "…Which reminds me! The dormitory has a computer room, and all of the computers have webcams and microphones. So if you want to go talk to your family, you may do so at any point."

Having been there a few days already, Kakashi and Deidara were practically tripping over each other to head to said room. Probably not to check up on their families--rather, their email.

-.-.-

**Note**: Right now, I am primarily relying on an online translator for my german. Of course, this sucks and is why Kisame didn't speak much german. So if any of you speak german--even conversational!--and want to help, please do so. ;w; (also: my french is probably horribly rusty, but I think I can handle that. I also have a connection for russian, but I'm stuck on japanese (past the basics), spanish, and nepali. if you can help, please drop me a review or PM...)


	4. Four: Be Lucky

**Author's Note**: As I really have no idea what the British system of schooling is really like, I'm basing this **primarily on American high school**, with some influences of Harry Potter.

-.-.-

"Oi! Ino, Deidara's on the computer!"

"_What_?!"

"Come see, come see!"

Soon, both blondes were crowded around the computer, grinning into the webcam. Their older brother--or in Ino's case, half-brother--was waving at them over the instant messenger, typing to each other excitedly. It was the first time that either of them had seen him since he left for England.

The first thing he typed was: "Don't tell mom or dad I'm online."

"Okay!" Naruto typed back cheerfully, still beaming broadly. "Can I turn on the mic?"

"Sure."

Once their voices were connected, both Naruto and Ino began babbling at once.

"How's England?"

"Is it beautiful?"

"How is it so far?"

"When do you start school?"

"What kind of classes are you taking?"

"Why are you on so late?"

"Hey! Who's that in the background?"

The last one had Deidara turning around, jumping in surprise when he noticed a rather bored-looking redhead standing behind him, watching over his shoulder. "What the fuck, Sasori?! Go get your own computer!" Deidara squawked, shooing him away.

"Okay." Sasori walked back off of the screen, leaving Deidara's two younger siblings quite perplexed.

"Who was that, Deidara?" Ino asked, leaning forward eagerly.

"Ehh, some French exchange student. He's really weird, yeah." He tried to pull off nonchalant, but failed miserably.

"Ohh--French! The language of love!" she swooned, sighing happily. "He looks really cute, too! How old is he? A freshman?"

"I dunno, I haven't had the chance to ask. He's pretty smart, though. At least in math." Deidara rolled his eyes, and then grinned into the webcam. "So how are you two brats, yeah?"

"Don't call me that!" Naruto huffed, sticking his tongue out at him. "We're doing fine, but school's been a drag."

"Ha-ha. We don't start until September." Deidara snickered at their expense.

A new window popped up on the computer, temporarily blocking their view of him. Ino hit Naruto on the head, demanding, "Minimize! I want to see Deidara again!" She had a bit of a brother complex, to say the least. Or to be more accurate, she flat out _idolized_ him.

"Wait--who is this?" Naruto shook his head, and typed the same question to whoever this was.

"Sasori." the mysterious person replied. Naruto and Ino looked at each other, and then started laughing.

"Well, Mr. Sasori. We just met a weird, redheaded guy who was called that."

Something obviously French and obviously indecipherable came back, and some French cursing was heard over Deidara's microphone. "You two are as bad as your brother." came the reply, a moment later.

"Hey, turn on the webcam for him, too," Ino said, elbowing Naruto in the ribs. "He was pretty cute, you know."

"Who's pretty cute?" Deidara asked, leaning on his elbow when they returned to the video window. She blushed crimson. Naruto laughed at her expense.

"Oh, nothing. You know, typical Ino," he waved it off.

Deidara paused for a moment, and then went off-screen. There was some shouting, and a bunch of laughing, and then a white-haired kid with a scarf tied over his mouth sat down cheerfully in Deidara's spot. "Well, look here. Two little kids on the webcam. These your kids, Deidara?"

"Hey, the mic is on!" Naruto shouted, and the white-haired kid jumped in surprise.

Deidara appeared on-screen again, holding a growling Sasori by the hair. "You idiot, you're not even foreign. Let them talk to Kabuto. I'm busy, yeah."

"But--we want to talk to _you_, Deidara!" Ino lamented, putting on her best pout. He normally couldn't resist that. But apparently, the idea of beating Sasori--or attempting to; it looked like the French student was putting up a decent fight--was enough to overpower her charm. Instead, a grey-haired kid with a ponytail and glasses was dragged into the conversation, and appeared to be sitting on the white-haired one's lap. Naruto and Ino glanced at each other, trying hard not to laugh. Maybe Deidara should have gone overseas sooner, if it'd be this fun to talk to these foreign kids.

"Uh--what's going on?" the one in glasses asked, warily looking at the webcam.

"You're supposed to entertain the children."

"I don't like children. Now let me up. I was trying to check my email."

After most of that was sorted out, much to the pair still State side's delight, Deidara came back. His hair was mussed up, and Sasori was now leaning casually on his shoulder, observing. "…Yeah. I think I'm gonna go, yeah," he said, looking quite defeated.

"But--why? Things were just getting good. That one guy in glasses looked like a fag," Naruto said gleefully. There was an offended shout from the other side.

"You two are gonna get in trouble if you listen to these idiots," Deidara replied diplomatically. "And for your information, they're both fags," he added with a grin and a wink.

Ino gasped dramatically, adding this to the gossip she'd spend tomorrow telling Sakura about. Naruto started cracking up, laughing too hard to even reply, so she took it over from him. "Is everyone over there gay?"

"No, not quite. We met this really cool German kid, and he didn't seem too much like a fag, yeah. His hair was blue, though. And apparently there's a whole bunch of other kids. We'll probably meet them some time next week."

"Oooooh!" she squealed, clapping her hands together. "I want pictures of them all! Sakura will _die_ of jealousy!"

Deidara looked off screen for a moment, and then smiled apologetically. "Okay, apparently we're getting kicked out now. For some reason, they didn't like us fighting in the computer lab." He turned over his shoulder, and asked, "Hey, how do you say 'bye' in French?"

"Learn the language yourself, _connard_," Sasori replied with a smirk.

"Asshole. Okay then, _ciao_, yeah."

-.-.-

The next week passed by rather quickly. The two newcomers fell into a routine just as quickly, and seemed comfortable enough in it. There were a few incidents, but nothing they would get seriously in trouble for. Except the fact that Kakashi was in the doghouse when Kabuto found out that he read porn on a regular basis.

As the class registration date edged closer, too, the dorm started filling up with students, returning from their vacations. The majority of the students were proper Brits, but there were a few obviously foreign kids in the mixture.

One of them was even taller than Kisame, and had limp, black hair that came to his shoulders. He was tan, with weird eyes, and shouted at Kakashi in some other language that left all of them very confused. Kabuto came back with forms to fill out, and didn't seem to recognize the description of the "monstrously tall freak of nature".

Tsunade appeared to be a very frightening woman. Kakashi staring at her large chest the entire time didn't help relations. Still, she seemed used to it, and just told Kabuto to keep a tight leash on both of them.

Once she had left, Kabuto visibly sank in relief. "Okay…well then…you should all probably pick your classes. You need one foreign language--they offer a large variety here--one English, one math, one social science, one regular science, one fine art--we have a large selection of those, too--and you need to maintain at least a C average if you want to stay here. Oh, and an elective; there's seven classes a day. Like it said in the program requirements, you need to keep up your grades if you want to stay in England. If they fall below a C, then you'll get shipped back to America. At your own expense."

"Ouch. That's a little painful." Kakashi winced, but it was mostly a façade. He just glanced over the form, and then looked back up at his boyfriend. "So…foreign language. I don't have to take English as one, thank god. Should I take French so I can understand him?"

He jerked a thumb over at Sasori, who replied with a snappish, "_Fermez la bouche_."

"No, he's actually pretty tame with the French." Kabuto glanced at his roommate in slight disdain. "Most of the exchange students here speak mostly English, anyway, and you shouldn't let that influence your decision anyway."

"Well…what do you take, then?"

"Well, I took one year of French, when Sasori first arrived, and now I am taking Latin--"

"Latin it is, then."

"Done, yeah." While they had been carrying on this conversation, Deidara had completely filled out his registration. He handed it proudly to Kabuto, who seemed a bit surprised. He scanned it over, and then nodded slowly.

"Okay…looks alright. I don't see why you shouldn't get any of your courses." Sasori was eyeing the paper curiously, obviously wanting to take a look at it. Kabuto kept it well out of the way of prying eyes. "I'll turn it in to Tsunade when we get done, then."

"Oh, bloody 'ell, Kisame!" A rather loud shout drew their attention from their forms. A now-familiar head of blue hair stood out above most of the other students, though Kisame didn't seem pleased at the sudden attention. In front of him, a white-haired, red-eyed student was shouting quite colorfully at him, waving his paper around. "You are _not_ taking another fucking year of German! You already _know_ the damn language, you prick!"

"_Ja_, but I already speak both it and English rather well. I don't see why I should learn another already."

Kabuto sighed in obvious reluctance as he stood up and made his way over to break up the impending argument. After some quiet deliberation, the situation seemed resolved peacefully, and Kisame was bade farewell, registration in hand. Kabuto led the foul-mouthed teenager back with him, and raised a hand to point to him. "This, unfortunately, is Hidan."

"What the bloody 'ell is that supposed to mean, fag?!"

"And as you can see, he's already adapted to American slang quite well." Kakashi and Deidara glanced at each other, unsure of what that meant. "He is my assistant in the foreign exchange program. He mostly deals with some of the other students, who have been here longer and know the ropes. And he _should_ be watching his mouth in public, as well."

"Go fuck a cat, Yakushi," Hidan replied sourly, crossing his arms.

"Tsunade seemed to be operating under the idea that if he was appointed to actually do something, he'd get in less trouble," Kabuto said flatly. The two Americans nodded in realization. Hidan stormed off, shouting obscenities back over his shoulder in their general direction. "You shouldn't be seeing much of him, but really, he's harmless. He just likes swearing. …A lot."

"…I see. Interesting school you're running here."

-.-.-

As the first day of school drew nearer, the days seemed to get shorter and shorter. Kakashi and Deidara were finally _realizing_ that they weren't only starting a new school--which was bad enough, considering that they were teenagers and this was an entirely new high school to get used to--but a new school in a _new country_.

Kabuto and Sasori weren't helping matters, of course.

They were both forcing the two Americans to wear their school uniforms on their dwindling days of summer, to get them into the habit and teach them how to wear them properly.

"_Ties_, for god's sake," Kakashi said stiffly, still struggling with his. He glanced up from his mirror to see how his roommate was faring. Deidara had bypassed the problem all together; he was still wandering around with an open shirt and his tie--tied properly, even!--was around his forehead. Kakashi stared at him. "…Are you drunk?" he finally asked.

"I think I should be. I think I should have gone to juvie, after all, yeah. _Britain_, for crying out loud! What possessed me to come on this stupid trip, yeah?!" Deidara groaned, ripping the tie off of his head and flopping down onto the bottom bunk. Only instead, he accidentally hit his head on the top bunk, and spent the next few minutes swearing profusely and holding his head.

"You know, I don't know why you came on this trip, either. But I'm glad I came on it," Kakashi replied, taking the higher moral ground. Deidara gave him a watery-eyed glare. "Even if these fucking ties make me want to hang myself. With them. Only then I'd probably mess up the damn noose and just fall and break my leg or something."

The blonde snorted. "Even emo, you still would fail at life, yeah."

"Says the one who walked into a _bunk bed_."

Deidara did nothing more than stick his tongue out at him, and pull his already-tied tie back over his head, around his neck, under his shirt's collar, and fix it primly so that it was the epitome of perfection. Though the still-open shirt ruined the picture.

"How did you get that, anyway?" the white-haired teenager asked warily, a bit miffed at being beaten so easily.

Deidara shrugged, and smiled innocently. "I got Sasori to tie it for me, yeah. You think I could do something like this? Please. I've never worn a tie before in my _life_, yeah."

"That's it, I give up." Kakashi threw the tie on the ground, crossing his arms. A few moments passed, in which his blonde roommate was unimpressed, and then Kakashi stooped and picked it back up. "I'm going to see if Kabuto can tie it for me."

"Mmkay, yeah. You have fun with that." Deidara rolled his eyes and laughed. As he passed, Kakashi reached out and yanked on the tie, so that it came loose and fell to the ground limply. "Hey! Dammit, now I have to con Sasori into doing it again for me, you asshole, yeah!"

"Come on, let's just go get our boyfriends to fix our problems for us."

"Ye--_hey_!!" Kakashi started laughing as Deidara tried to strangle him with his tie, though he was probably too busy being flustered out of his mind to do much damage.

"Oh, come off it. The Brits aren't nearly as uptight and proper and everyone seems to think. You don't have to be ashamed of being a fag, Deidara," he said diplomatically, clapping the blonde on the back. He got punched in the shoulder for his troubles. Kakashi laughed it off, though he couldn't help but rub his arm. "Seriously, though…can't you take a bit of ribbing? Quit being such a pansy. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that you just haven't come out of the closet yet and you really are secretly gay."

The look on Deidara's face was priceless. He slowly paled, and then his eyes widened, and then he suddenly blushed brilliantly.

Kakashi's face was likewise priceless. He looked like Christmas, Halloween _and_ his birthday had all come early. He grinned broadly, and the blonde's face fell. Kakashi bolted for the door, but Deidara was quicker. He slammed the door shut before he reached it, and glared at him while standing protectively in front of it.

Unfortunately, the door opened, with enough force to push both Kakashi and Deidara out of the way. "Are the two Americans fighting?" Kisame peeked into the room, grinning expectantly. Sasori, likewise, peeked around his massive frame.

"We 'eard shouting," he added, also expectantly.

"Are you two _hoping_ we were fighting?" Kakashi asked, disconcerted.

The two exchange students glanced at each other. Sasori left without saying anything further. Kisame turned back to them, grinning once more. "Slightly. So what were the two Americans fighting about?"

"The two Americans have names, yeah," Deidara snapped. He was obviously still cross because of his roommate, but oh well.

"_Ja_, I know," Kisame replied. "…I just don't care."

"Well, we were fighting about--" Deidara hastily cut off Kakashi by clamping his hand over his mouth, muffling the rest of the sentence.

"Nothing," he supplied. "We weren't fighting. Just mad at our…ties."

The German stared at them both. "…Your…ties."

"Yeah!" Deidara nodded emphatically. "…Wait, do _you_ know how to tie them?"

"…I've been here as long as Sasori. Of _course_ I know how to tie a tie. It's part of the uniform."

"Not the uniform you were wearing…" Kakashi said around Deidara's mouth. The blonde tried to keep him silent, but eventually he wiggled away from him and out into the safety of the hallway. "I'm going to go get my _boyfriend_ to tie this for me!" he called, waving the tie in the air. "You know, since I _have_ one."

"Fag!" Deidara shouted after him.

Kisame laughed. "I think I already love Americans," he remarked.

-.-.-

Then, there was the first day of school.

"You're sweating buckets. _Honestly_ it's not that much of a problem. Haven't you had…ten first days of school before?" Kabuto asked. Kakashi ignored him and continued pacing. So the grey-haired teen idly continued eating his muffin, turning a page in the book he was reading. "It's not even much of a day… Just an assembly, and introductions. The classic 'What I Did Over Summer Vacation' essay, probably. It's not as if you'll have any problems…"

"You're not supposed to be eating in here," Sasori commented, rolling over. The redhead had already fallen into the routine of his last two years in England. Being Kabuto's roommate, he had to wake up ungodly early. And after getting dressed and maybe eating something, he would promptly go back to bed until Kabuto could drag him back out for his first class. Kakashi's pacing and fretting interrupted this routine; Sasori was rather cross.

"What is it you always say? 'Ferm-ay la boosh'?" Deidara continued eating his toast, taking extra measures to crumb all over Sasori's bed. "I'm pretty sure it means 'screw off', yeah."

"It means 'shut your mouth', and I zink my ears are bleeding from your massacre of my language," Sasori replied through the blanket. "Please never speak French again."

Deidara laughed and laid back down, spreading more crumbs to spite him.

"Deidara, _you_ should be the most nervous about this entire thing!" Kakashi burst out finally, pausing in his pacing. He narrowed his eyes accusingly, tugging at the scarf covering his mouth. "What are _you_ going to say in front of everyone? 'Hello, my name is Deidara and I like to blow shit up'?"

"Sounds good to me, yeah."

"Is that what this is about?" Kabuto asked. "Kakashi, it's just…tiny. Small. Just introduce yourself in front of the school, say a sentence or two, and say that you'll like it here. It's not as if you're addressing the country."

"Wait--in front of the school? _What_?" Deidara shot back up in bed, frowning. There was laughter from underneath the blankets.

"Oh--damn, I forgot to tell you." Kabuto sighed. The blonde American gaped at him. "Well…It's simple, really. Just introduce yourself in front of the school. Formalities. It's just for all of the foreign exchange students…even Sasori has to do it."

"Even though he's been here two years already?" Kakashi asked, suddenly rethinking whether or not he wanted to look into a second year overseas.

His boyfriend rolled his eyes. "Yes. But it's not that big of a deal! I give speeches all the time, and it's _fine_."

Meanwhile, Deidara was still gaping.

Suddenly, a bell rang, out in the hall. Deidara jumped, nearly hitting his head on the top bunk. Kakashi looked as if he had just been sent to the firing squad.

Kabuto sighed and stood up, pushing in the chair to his desk. "Come on, you two. Three. Sasori, out of bed."

"_Non, je suis fatigué_," came the reply.

Kabuto pursed his lips, and then pulled back the blanket. Sasori just curled up tighter, squeezing his eyes shut. His roommate grabbed his ankles and pulled him out of bed; the redhead's head hit the ground with a nasty thump, and he taught the two Americans several more words in French that they probably shouldn't ever repeat.

"Come on," Kabuto said briskly, ignoring the death glares Sasori was sending him.

"…I have to give a _speech_?!" Deidara finally asked, getting over his shell-shock.

-.-.-

"I hope all of you have a great year with us," Kabuto finished, smiling disarmingly. The foreign exchange students were seated on the stage behind him, either incredibly bored or sweating buckets. Kakashi, of course, fell into the second category. Deidara was still gaping, probably too blindsided to acknowledge that he had to make a speech in a moment or two.

Kabuto had just finished a speech of his own, something about how diverse their school was and how great it was to embrace different cultures. Kakashi had tried to listen to it, he really did, but he just couldn't concentrate. Public speaking was not his forte. He was a man of few words.

Kabuto turned and sat down beside Kakashi. That had been a stroke of luck; they were grouped according to country, and it just so happened that the Americans ended up next to the British (or, at least, the ones in charge of the foreign exchange program). Kakashi just thanked every deity he ever heard of for this small miracle. He needed support.

Hidan, sitting on the other side of Kabuto, bobbed his head to the music from his headphones, totally ignoring the glares Tsunade regularly sent him. _He_ didn't have to speak, though.

The Russians went first. Or rather, one of them said something short about being "Kakuzu" and bowed and departed; the other didn't speak at all. Kakashi wondered if he could get away with it, but then he caught sight of the glares both Tsunade and Kabuto were sending them. He decided to try to survive public speaking.

Next were two pretty girls from Spain. They both said a few greetings in their native language, batted their eyes and swung their hips. Kakashi didn't spare them a second glance and just tried to keep his mind off what was coming and on Kabuto's hand in his.

It was the girl from Nepal and then the Americans. Kakashi would make Deidara go first; he wasn't self-sacrificial.

The girl from Nepal turned out to be a boy, however. This stunned quite a few of the students there. He just tugged the hat down around his face, flushing at the gasps from the audience. "My name is Haku… I'm from Nepal…" He looked over his shoulder at Kabuto for either reassurance or a mercy killing. Not receiving either, he continued quietly. "…I like snow and animals and I hope I have a great year with you all." This last sentence was said so quickly that Kakashi was amazing the microphone picked up anything more than a low whine.

Then it was Deidara's turn. The blonde didn't move from his seat, so Kakashi elbowed him in the side. Kabuto leaned forward and hissed, "Get up there," but to no avail.

Deidara was suddenly hauled upright, however, by two hands on his shoulders tugging on his hoodie. "_Dépêchez-vous!_ Just say something!" Kakashi turned in his seat to find Sasori pushing Deidara towards the microphone.

Deidara finally snapped out of his horrified shock, and after giving Kabuto a glance that clearly said 'we will talk about this later, yeah', stumbled towards the microphone.

"Hi…I'm Deidara. And for all those guys down in the audience who thought I was a girl until I just spoke, I will slit your throats at a later date," he said with a shaky, if slightly evil, smile. And then Kakashi realized what a mistake they might have just made. "I like fire and I'm from America, yeah. And--"

"Get him back here!" Kabuto pushed Kakashi out onto the stage mercilessly. The white-haired American could have cried as he _felt_ hundreds of eyes turn towards him expectantly. Even Deidara half-turned to look at him as he walked stiffly up.

"H-Hi… My name is Kakashi Hatake and this is my, uh, _friend_. He likes to joke around," Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, with the other hand covertly prodding Deidara in the side. "_Get back to your seat_," he hissed out of the corner of his mouth.

The blonde stared at him for a moment, and then broke out into a roguish grin. As he walked back to his seat, Kakashi realized with horror two things. One, that he had just done that on purpose. Two, that he was now up at the podium by himself without really meaning to get up there just yet.

"…" Then again, he had already given his name, and that was good enough for him. He turned and robotically walked back, surprised that he had fared so well. The last time he had given a speech was almost two years ago, and that had been rehearsed. Kakashi slumped in his seat next to Kabuto (who promptly hit his head with his palm). He hardly heard Kisame's speech.

Then, the speeches were over and they were dismissed to their second classes. Kakashi followed Kabuto; mostly because he knew were little in the actual _school_ was, and because second period was Biology and he had it with his boyfriend. (He couldn't wait for the anatomy chapter.)

"Welcome, welcome, have a seat already," the teacher said to them immediately. He perked up a bit, however, when he saw Kabuto file in after a few other students. "Ah, Kabuto. Nice to see you're in another of my classes."

Kabuto grinned and adjusted his glasses. "Somehow, I always wind up in your science classes, Mr. Orochimaru," he replied. The teacher just nodded as he brushed a lock of black hair over his shoulder.

Kakashi looked between them for a few moments, and then fixed his glare on the teacher. He reached out and grabbed a surprised Kabuto, pulling him against his chest. "Mine," he told Orochimaru, and then steered him to the farthest chair possible.

"_What_ was _that_ about, Kakashi?!" Kabuto demanded once his boyfriend pushed him into a seat. "I never sit in the corner…"

"I want you far away from that creepy guy. I didn't like the look he was giving you, baby," he said, pouting. Kabuto grimaced and looked away, not ready to give up on his indignation just yet.

"Please. Mr. Orochimaru is a fine teacher, and I've had him for all of my science classes. Not to mention he's helped me with quite a few of my experiments through the years."

"What kind of 'experiments'?" Kakashi asked suspiciously.

Kabuto rolled his eyes. "Just chemistry experiments. Or--medical ones."

"Well…I still don't like him," he said as he crossed his arms, after pulling his scarf back up to cover his mouth.

"Join the club." Kabuto laughed, and then stowed his bag underneath the lab table.

"Huh?"

"Just be lucky Sasori isn't in this class…"


	5. Cinq: Un Jour Dans La Vie

The next day, there were unpleasant surprises for all. But most of them came to Sasori. Of course, he hadn't ever gotten to look at anyone else's schedule, so he hadn't known to expect anything. Boy, first period sure proved him wrong.

"What are _you_ doing in here?"

Sasori, even if he slept in after getting ready, was always the first one to class in the morning. (Probably because he wasn't wasting his time in the morning flirting with his boyfriend, like _some_ people he could mention.) So he already had staked out his claim on the classroom--his corner. And art classes, even if they were required, were usually small; there was such a wide variety of them that there was plenty for all.

The second student to come in and stake a claim on the classroom was Deidara.

"I am in this class, obviously," Sasori replied evenly, looking down at his hands, folded on the table. Good god, he had a class with Deidara right off the bat?! Though maybe Art II would be some sort of bonding time for them, to overcome their rocky start… After all, Deidara had said he liked art, didn't he?

"_You're_ in this class, yeah?" Deidara squawked, as if he hadn't heard him. "Shouldn't you be in, like, French Art or something?"

Sasori glowered at him. "Shouldn't you be in Art I?"

"Nah, I took plenty of art classes back Stateside." He shrugged, and sat down opposite Sasori, ignoring his claimed space. "Kabuto said it was alright, anyway."

"Let me see your schedule," Sasori said, holding out his hand.

"Why?"

"I want to see if we 'ave any other classes together."

"Mm, no thanks." Deidara leaned his chin in his palm, elbow on the table. The redheaded exchange student continued glaring at him. The blonde pretended not to notice. "So…you like art, yeah?"

"I am an artist," said Sasori, though he pronounced 'artist' like the French word. At this point, he would have been speaking solely in French to spite Deidara (for what, he didn't know), if the teacher just hadn't walked in.

Their first project, the teacher explained excitedly, would be a completely open one. The students could pick any medium they wished, they had three weeks to complete it, and it merely had to demonstrate how they saw themselves. Piece of cake. Sasori barely heard the teacher, however; he couldn't help but stare at Deidara, when he noticed how his face would light up at any mention of art. Especially the free art project.

"What are you going to draw?" Deidara turned and asked him, all prior traces of animosity gone. "What are you going to use, yeah?"

Sasori shrugged, holding up his hands. "I don't know at this point," he admitted. "This project, however banal, is something I haven't done before. I don't know how I see myself."

"Short, redheaded, French, likes to kiss random boys?" Deidara suggested.

Sasori blushed, scowling. "_Non_! Idiot. Besides…you are not zat much taller zan me."

"I have an inch or two on you, yeah." And to prove it, he straightened up a bit in his seat.

"Only because you tie your hair in that ridiculous fashion," sniffed the French student. "Now don't bother me--I'm thinking."

Second period wasn't much better. Not only was it _Biology_--he would _never_ forgive Orochimaru for failing him last year--but the damned man was _still_ his teacher! And Kakashi was already keeping Kabuto to himself, in the corner. The already sour Sasori sat down across from his roommate, dumping his book bag on the floor with the loudest possible thump. Orochimaru didn't look at him, still stuck on having a staring contest with Kakashi.

Kabuto, who just noticed his arrival, promptly hit his head against the desk. "This is going to be a _fun_ class, I can tell already," he groaned.

-.-.-

Deidara didn't think he could wait until lunch. He was _hungry_, damn it. Back in the States, he used to skip third or fourth period to go eat. But no--here he was _behaving_. He couldn't just skip classes so flippantly…otherwise he'd get deported and sent to juvie.

Geometry in the morning, though? Torture.

He growled and snarled his way through his math class, probably scarring his teacher. He was hungry and angry and needed his lighter.

Third period didn't bring much relief. His teacher turned out to be a perverted old man, who claimed he had written several novels, but Deidara highly doubted that. He merely assigned them a book--_Catch-22_--and told them to read chapter one and have five discussion questions for tomorrow. And then the rest of the class was donated to reading time. The first chapter in, however, he had to admit he actually kind of liked the book… It was funny, at least. And depressing at the same time.

Loud giggles jarred him out of his reading, just a sparse twenty minutes into class. He looked up grumpily over the cover of his book, ready to tear someone's head off.

He was surprised to find that the laughing girl was one of the foreign exchange students. The pretty redheaded one--or, at least the female one. She was from Spain, wasn't she? He watched suspiciously as she giggled and batted her eyes at one of his classmates. Then she caught Deidara staring at her and immediately flipped personalities. "_Puta_," she said, adjusting her glasses.

"What's that mean?" the kid next to her asked, frowning. He looked just as confused as Deidara felt. What the hell did 'puta' mean? As if he didn't have enough dealing with Sasori's foreign-ness…

She leaned over and whispered it in the British kid's ear. He then started laughing, hastily stifling it when the teacher shot him a look. "Oi, that's the kid 'oo was male, remember? From America."

The Spanish exchange student looked over Deidara with a new eye, frowning faintly. "…Oh well," she said with a thick, if charming, accent. "He shouldn't be staring at me so blatantly."

"I'd stare at girl like you, too, you know. Your 'air is kind of blindin'," the white-haired guy joked. She was not amused by this, and smacked him on the head, turning primly away from him afterward. He laughed it off. He then turned to Deidara, offering a conspiratorial wink. "Don't mind the dames too much, right? They'll always come back for more."

"_Puta_," the girl said over her shoulder.

"What?! I don't even look like a girl!" he exclaimed defensively.

Deidara sunk back behind his book, trying to ignore the two. Great, just what he needed, a couple of flirts in the same class…

"Doesn't mean you don't act…what's the word…catty," she replied.

"Fine one to talk," Deidara muttered behind his book. The girl looked outraged, picking up her pencil. She wielded it like a knife.

"Brats, shut up and read," the teacher said loudly, breaking up what could have turned into murder. Deidara was only mildly thankful; it wasn't as if he couldn't handle himself in a fight. But he didn't know if she knew some secret Spanish fighting style or something… Or maybe she was even like Zorro. She could have killed him easily with that pencil.

The bell rang, dismissing them all.

The good news? After fourth period, there was lunch. The bad news? Fourth period was Gym. _Burning calories, just what I need…_

-.-.-

"I thought you were in Latin II?" Kakashi asked, a bit perplexed. But definitely thankful.

"I am," Kabuto replied, picking up his books. Kakashi's face fell. The silver-haired Brit smiled, though, and explained, "I'm actually an aide for this class. I have Latin II next period. Once you've already taken a year of a language, you're eligible to have your elective class be an aide one, helping out in the language's class. Like, Sasori has been the French aide for several years now."

"Oh. Cool, then." Inwardly, Kakashi was gleeful. Another class with Kabuto! That was two already, and they weren't even halfway through the day.

"Class, today we're going to start with some basics. How about pronouns and a verb or two?" Kabuto beamed; he knew this stuff. Kakashi, however, couldn't tell Latin from Greek from French, probably. He could hardly even remember his _English_ pronouns and verbs…

He was scribbling notes furiously, trying to keep up with the teacher. Kakashi had never taken a foreign language as a class before; the result was a bit overwhelming. And there weren't even the pronouns and verbs--he had to _conjugate_ the verbs! Maybe he should have taken a different foreign language…

Kabuto prodded him in the side, handing him a folded piece of paper. "I will help you with it; stop stressing," it read. Kakashi smiled gratefully at him, and relaxed a bit on the note-taking. A bit. He was still trying his hardest to be a sponge, though. Most of his life he had been told he was a bright student, and here he was, struggling with pronouns and the 'to be' verb. Somehow, maintaining a C average suddenly seemed harder.

Finally, the class dissolved into partners to practice their newfound knowledge. Kakashi gratefully latched onto Kabuto's arm, pulling both him and his desk over towards him. "I have no idea what the teacher said for the last five minutes," he said seriously.

Kabuto smiled helplessly. "It is a bit overwhelming at first…but once you get the hang of the basics, it becomes exceptionally easy. Haven't you taken any other languages before?" The American shook his head. "So as far as you're concerned, 'British' is about as foreign as you get?"

"Yeah." Actually, he'd consider a Boston or Southern accent foreign, but he wasn't going to mention that now. Plus, he doubted Kabuto would know what those were. Kakashi had already picked up on the fact that the other students knew little to nothing of America, as it actually _was_ with a dozen different accents and dialects. In fact, the first day, Kabuto had been quite perplexed as to why Deidara sounded different from Kakashi. (This was because Deidara had moved to New York just a year prior; Kakashi grew up there.) "So…uh, what _did_ the teacher say for the last five minutes?"

Kabuto sighed. Smiling wryly, he explained, "He gave us the conjugations of the verb _esse_, which means 'to be'… And we're supposed to be practicing them."

"…Conjugations," Kakashi repeated cluelessly. The word definitely sounded familiar, but that was about it.

"You know…? Even English has this part, so you should be familiar with it. How a verb changes to suit its noun or pronoun? 'I am', 'you are', 'he is'…?"

"Oh, that!" Finally, something he knew. He brightened, grinning beneath the scarf. "So, how many of these conjugations are there? And what are the nouns?"

"Pronouns, actually. And there are six, like a lot of other languages. I've already dug out my notes from last year; I figured you'd need them," said Kabuto as he graciously handed over two pages of paper, completely filled with his neat, if tiny, cursive. Kakashi took the notes, a bit horrified that he'd managed to use two pages--front _and_ back--for just this-- "No, it's not just this one thing, Kakashi." Kabuto must have seen his expression, then. "That's actually for the first…week, I think. Still, it should help."

"I'm pretty sure you just saved my Latin grade, at the very least." Kakashi leaned over his desk, giving Kabuto a peck on the cheek. "I'll thank you later when the teacher isn't glaring daggers at us, okay?" He winked, trying hard not to laugh when Kabuto blushed, and then nervously looked towards where the teacher was, indeed, glaring at them.

"Uh, right. You better work on your conjugations now; Mr. Ibiki isn't known for his kindness in disciplining students…"

The bell rang, probably saving Kakashi from figuring this out on his own. Kabuto waved goodbye to him--Kakashi wasn't so pleased with this farewell--as he pushed apart their desks and prepared for his Latin II class. The American, meanwhile, tried to find where his English class would be. He needed a map…

Then, he spotted a head of blonde hair on the other side of the hall and quickly intercepted. "Deidara!"

"Eh?" He looked up, blinking in surprise. "Oh, Kakashi."

"Don't sound so excited to see me," he deadpanned. "But do you know where the English class is?"

"Oh, yeah. I just came from there." Deidara shouldered his backpack and jerked a thumb over his shoulder. "Down that hall, take the first left, and then it's like…three doors down. Maybe four. Look for the perverted old guy, yeah. Where's the gym?"

"You have P.E.?"

"Yeah. Next. You have it?"

"First period." Kakashi wasn't amused when Deidara laughed at him for it. "Yeah, well, _you_ have it right before lunch. You'll starve to death halfway through class, knowing your eating habits."

That sobered the blonde up. "…Where is it?"

"Down the way I just came, all the way at the end."

"Thanks, yeah." A very depressed Deidara pushed past him. Kakashi turned and watched him go, wondering if he really was going to starve to death. It would almost be amusing. But no; Deidara had a much bigger chance of dying by fire.

Overhead, the bell rang. Oh great; he was late. Kakashi jogged towards his class, edging in the door while the teacher's back was turned, and slipped into a seat. Good, he wasn't noticed-- "You're late," the teacher said briskly.

_Starting off great already_, he thought with a grim smile. Back in the States he had also had a problem with tardiness, but he had thought he'd somehow do better overseas…

"Well, class, if we're _all_ in attendance now, my name is Jiraiya. Master Jiraiya should work fine," the teacher said, turning from where he was writing on the whiteboard. The class stared back at him, wondering whether or not he was joking. "I am your English teacher. First, we'll get all of the boring stuff out of the way and introduce yourselves to each other. Make a circle with your desks."

Cowed, the students did so. The teacher sat on top of one of the desks, propping his feet up on the desk of a nearby student. The girl didn't seem fazed by this. Kakashi looked around at his classmates--and was elated when he suddenly found Kisame was among them. The German student gave him a grin when he caught his eye.

"I'll go first. My name is Jiraiya, and I'm a novelist. I write books, and I already have several bestsellers published. I like to read almost as much as I like to write, and teaching is down on my list of likes," the white-haired man said, then tapped his foot on the female student's desk. "You, next."

"My name is Konan," she said in a clipped voice, "And you all should have no reason to fear Mr. Jiraiya, really. I've had him before and he's just a great actor in scaring the new students."

Jiraiya's face fell, and then he glared at the blue-haired student. "I remember _you_ now. Thanks for ruining my only day of fun…" She only looked flatly up at him in response. The tension in the classroom, however, slowly dissipated as the next student introduced himself.

Kakashi was watching the teacher intently. He read a lot--not _all_ of it porn--and he could have sworn he'd heard the name Jiraiya before…

Kisame, sitting across the circle from him, was looking bored. He loosened his tie a bit (it _was_ kind of warm in the room), and then returned to tapping his fingers on the desk. The repetitive sound was starting to annoy Kakashi. But then, it was Kisame's turn. He straightened in his desk. "My name's Kisame Hoshigaki, and I'm from Germany. I like swimming and fish, and I can't think of anything else appropriate for this class that I can say."

Kakashi snorted. One of those things was probably his liking for wearing Nazi uniforms… He couldn't help but wonder what other things made that list.

After a couple of more kids, it was Kakashi's turn. He didn't particularly like speeches, but a mere classroom of students he could handle. Especially when a few of them were very pretty girls. He carefully tugged his scarf down so that it hung around his neck, and innocently licked his lips before he spoke. Several of the girls suddenly got a lot more interested in him. "Well… My name is Kakashi Hatake, and I'm from America. I like my cute, amazing, wonderful boyfriend--" there were several disappointed sighs among the female population of the room "--and reading." Kisame snorted at this; he knew exactly what kind of books Kakashi liked to read, thanks to Kabuto.

After that, the teacher introduced the book. Kakashi merely raised his hand when he was handed his copy. "I've already read this."

"Why? The other American hadn't, so it wasn't assigned," Jiraiya said, frowning.

"I read it in my spare time?"

"Why?"

"Because there are whores in it and a friend of mine recommended it to me?"

The teacher laughed, and Kakashi was pretty sure several other students giggled. "I can see that this is going to be an interesting year, Mr. Hatake."

-.-.-

As the bell rang, Kabuto picked up his books and hurried out of the room. The teacher hadn't liked Kakashi's behavior towards him in the period before, and he was now watching Kabuto like a hawk. Nevermind the fact that he was the smartest student in the class. He just didn't approve of kissing in his class. Or maybe he didn't approve of Kakashi. But, of course, those two particular problems went hand in hand…

Just outside in the hall, Kabuto was very nearly tackled. He nearly dropped his books, too, but managed to hold onto him as two arms wrapped themselves around his chest and picked him up. "Wha--?!"

"It's lunch time, come on," Kakashi said in his ear, laughing lightly.

"I'm not that hungry," Kabuto protested. In all actuality, usually he just grabbed a quick bite, and then went off to study in the library or his room. Obviously, Kakashi would end that habit this year.

"Good."

"Huh? And Kakashi--put me down!" His boyfriend hastily obeyed, smiling sheepishly. Kabuto flushed, trying to keep a disapproving tone. He didn't appreciate just getting carted off like that. "Now why are you pleased that I'm not hungry?"

"Because I know Deidara's probably ripping apart the cafeteria right now. If he found it." Kabuto gave him a flat look. He put one hand on his hip, the other holding the books to his chest. Kakashi laughed, and then said, "Okay, so that's not entirely it. I actually found a broom closet down that way--"

"Kakashi!" Kabuto nearly dropped his books again, looking away so that the American exchange student couldn't see how red he'd just turned. "We are _not_ spending the lunch hour in a _broom closet_--"

"Then your room?"

A bit less flustered, he retorted, "No. We are going to go eat like civilized people, and then if we have extra time, _you_ are going to practice your Latin. Your spelling was atrocious."

The white-haired teen pouted, sticking out his bottom lip and looking for all the world like a kicked puppy. Kabuto grimaced. "…_Please_?"

"Kakashi, _no_." He had a bit more self control than to just give in like that. Plus he had his books with him, and Kakashi had his backpack, so it would be impractical for them to just leave them somewhere…

"I need kisses and love, otherwise I'll _die_!" Kakashi exclaimed, waving his hands. "Do you want me to die, baby?"

"Are all Americans as dramatic as you?" he asked in reply.

"I think so, yeah, I guess they are." He paused for a moment, thinking. "Want to know another American cultural fact?"

"…Do I want to?" Kabuto asked warily.

"Yes. It's very important to understand your boyfriend's culture," he replied diplomatically. "Americans excel at pick-up lines. It's an entire language in our country. _And_ we know how to follow through on them."

Kabuto wasn't amused or impressed. "Oh really."

"Yes, really."

"…Well?"

"Well what?"

"I'm waiting."

Kakashi beamed. "Well, do you have a mirror in your pocket?"

"What?" Kabuto stared at him, uncomprehending. "Uh…no, I don't. _Why_?"

"Because I can see myself in your pants."

Kabuto couldn't help but laugh. He hastily stifled it with his hand, not wanting to encourage Kakashi.

But encouraged he was. "You look like a parking ticket, baby, 'cause you got 'fine' written all over you."

Kabuto was outright laughing now, but couldn't help but wonder how serious Kakashi was being. Were Americans really that corny? The American in question just grinned and wrapped his arm around Kabuto's waist, pulling him closer.

"That's a nice shirt. It'll would go great with my floor."

"Wh-Where do you come _up_ with this stuff?" Kabuto gasped between laughs, trying hard to stop it.

"It's a gift, like all of my natural charms," Kakashi said with a smile. Then, he continued, "Want to know what winks and screws like a tiger?"

Kabuto could only shake his head; he was laughing too hard to reply properly.

Kakashi winked at him. Kabuto kept laughing, until Kakashi grabbed his chin and forced him into a kiss he was too distracted to refuse.


	6. Sechs: Weltkrieg Zwei

In a week, things eventually settled down. To some semblance of normalcy, at least. Though 'normalcy' is a relative term, in the case of that particular school.

The foreign exchange students hesitantly settled in, picking out their favorite (and least favorite) classes, finally getting used to seeing each other and the rest of the British population on an every day basis. The foreign teenagers, somehow, bonded. They knew what it was like living in a different country, though Kisame and Sasori said that that would wear off within the month. (But not before homesickness set in, which made Kakashi wince.) He was just glad that he didn't have to speak a different language all the time, like most of the other exchange students.

He had one class with Sasori and Kisame each. None with Deidara, which he was disappointed about. But three with Kabuto! And then one with one of the Spanish exchange students, the brunette girl, who he found was named Tenten. And in Psychology, he had Pein, the silent Russian student who, to his knowledge, hadn't spoken a word yet.

But he was keeping up with his classes, at least. (Kakashi felt sorry for the other exchange students in that; he couldn't even imagine how hard it would be to read _Catch-22_, or having to learn Biology, in another language.) And in P.E., he learned that football wasn't football, but rugby was fun. He had wondered about going out for the sport when he dejectedly learned that the British (or even European) school system didn't offer extracurriculars like that; it was expected of the students to fend for themselves in that aspect.

Then, they had their first weekend.

Kabuto was tied up on Saturday--he had some business with Tsunade and then a few issues with Hidan's abuse of power--but on Sunday, he decided to take them to London again.

"Umm, I thought we were kind of banned from leaving the dorm after last time, yeah?" Deidara asked, hanging upside down from the bunk bed.

"_Ouais, mais… Je voudrais aller là encore,_" Sasori said thoughtfully, looking up from his homework.

"You know, I can't understand a word you say. Ever," Deidara said flatly, looking at him upside-down. The French student glared dully back, before returning to his open book.

"Zat is _your_ fault zen, not mine," he replied evenly.

Kabuto tilted his head, rethinking his scheme. "I suppose it _would_ be a bit early for another trip there…"

Kakashi, who had been trying his hardest to figure out his Latin homework, turned to glare at the offending pair over his shoulder. Great, there went any chance they had of going back there so soon. "You guys are idiots," he muttered under his breath.

"I know! Why don't we go out on the town, then? You two haven't seen much of the city here, aside from what we've driven past," Kabuto suggested with a bright smile. "It's definitely not as large as London, but we have a few shops if you need to do some shopping, and a theater, and a wonderful little bookshop--"

"_Non_, I 'ave zis 'omework to finish…" Sasori sighed, flipping a page in the textbook. "And I 'ave seen ze town several times already."

"Not since this summer," Kabuto replied, tapping a pencil against his thigh. "We can invite Kisame along and you two can show Deidara and Kakashi that laser tag arena…?" He raised both eyebrows, smiling because he knew he'd just won. Sasori knew this, too, and with a resigned groan, shut his book.

"Fine. But _I_ am captain of the red team."

-.-.-

A few years ago, the school had teamed up with one of the local companies to raise money, and after much fundraising, begging, pleading, and sending home for money, the students had managed to erect a laser tag arena in one of the empty buildings in the downtown area. It was the students' greatest pride, and was particularly loved by the foreign exchange students. After all, where else could they ferociously fight one another and declare war on other countries without being deported?

And, as it turned out, _this_ was what Kisame had been talking about when he spoke of reenacting World War II with the other foreign exchange students. Last year, he and Sasori had rather epically (and infamously) staged a half-hour long battle, complete with snipers, trench techniques, and several hundred dollars worth of damage.

"Red is the Allies, and blue is the Axis, _ja_?" Kisame placed students on either side of the room where they were supposed to be getting their vests on. Along the way (for it was within walking distance), they had managed to pick up several other students. Kisame took charge of them, too, as naturally as he would boss around anyone else, though they were nothing short of strangers to him. "You two are the _Spanische studenten_, right?"

"_Si_," the red-haired girl said, giving him a dangerous look. "Is this a problem?"

"_Nein_, it's just that we don't have any Italian students, and you two are the closest we have. So by default you become Italian." Kisame beamed at them, shuffling them over to the blue side.

"But--!" The other Spanish student, the brunette girl, put a placating hand on her shoulder and just shook her head. The redhead huffed, but gave it up. "Fine."

"Okay now before we blow each others' asses up, 'ow about we introduce ourselves?" one of the British students shouted, cupping his hands around his mouth.

"Whatever," the German replied, waving his hand in the air. "I'm Kisame, and I'm standing in for Germany." He gestured for the two Spanish students to go next.

"I'm Tenten, and this is Karin. I guess we've defaulted into the Italian role," the brunette said sheepishly, rubbing the back of her neck with a shy grin. Karin, the redhead beside her, huffed again and crossed her arms.

"I'm Suigetsu, and I'm filling in for Germany, too," the white-haired kid that shouted before said, beaming at them all. "Someone needs to make sure Kisame doesn't trash the place again, right?"

"No, you're not with me," Kisame interrupted, pushing him back down the line. "Go be with Japan."

Suigetsu scowled, but then just stuck his tongue out at him.

Haku, the next in line, rolled his eyes. He, too, was standing in for another country. "I'm Haku… and I suppose I've just been joined in Japan with Suigetsu."

"Kakuzu. Russia." With amazing brevity, the Russian exchange student just shouldered his vest, hand on the laser gun in its holster. Kisame winced a bit; he wasn't looking forward to when Kakuzu would change sides.

"I'm also with Russia, and my name is Konan." The third girl present, Konan, was also filling in another country.

Then, it was the red team. Sasori, its declared captain, went first as he hefted his gun. "My name is Sasori, and I'm for France."

"We're the Americans!" Deidara said cheerfully, grinning. "That means we get to kick _all_ your asses, yeah!"

"He's Deidara, and I'm Kakashi," Kakashi filled in with a roll of his eyes.

"And we're for Great Britain," Kabuto said, finally, gesturing to the final three students. "Kabuto."

"Hidan, fuck yeah," the albino student crowed, having a glaring-and-grinning-maniacally contest with Deidara behind the rest of their team's collective back.

"Zabuza," the third student said, scowling. "And we're outnumbered, badly. Idiots. Who let the German pick the teams, eh?"

"It's the Nazi in me; I recruit in great numbers," Kisame returned with a sly grin. "And anyway, Russia is going to join your side halfway through!" Zabuza didn't particularly like this, but he couldn't deny the point.

Then again… "But America doesn't join until halfway through, either!"

"Great then! So if your pansy-ass can survive that long, you get a shitload of reinforcements!"

"Hey, we're not waiting until halfway through to start playing, yeah!" Deidara interjected hotly, aiming his gun at the pair of them.

"Just let America join from the start, and then Russia can switch halfway through. Let's just _play_ already," Kabuto said exasperatedly. And that finished it. The rest of the two teams hastily pulled their vests on and holstered their guns, trying to glare down the other team all the while.

It was apparent to the laser-WWII newbies that Sasori and Kisame had quite a thing going on between them concerning this. Because while history generally dictated that France was invaded and occupied during the war, Sasori was _not_ going to just give up to Kisame like that. Even if Kisame was trying his hardest the entire time to properly do so.

The laser tag arena, much to the newbies' amazement, was basically a (small) converted warehouse. There were obstacles, of course, even a platform or two for sniping purposes, and generic things you'd expect to find in a laser tag arena, but most of them hadn't seen one quite like this before.

Unfortunately, as they were all standing there gaping, it allowed the other team to pick them off quite easily.

"Hey!" Kakashi shouted as his vest beeped, and turned to glare at Kakuzu. The Russian shrugged, and then took aim at the next in line. Of course, not all of them were veterans; Kabuto and Sasori were likewise picking off the staring Spanish pair, as well as Haku.

Eventually, they got the hint, and scattered. Kakashi ducked behind one of the pillars, tugging on his helmet's straps. (They were equipped with quite a conglomerate of war-related things. This included boots, a jacket in some cases, and a helmet in all cases. It seemed as if this place was primarily used for reenacting wars…or maybe Sasori and Kisame just wanted to furnish it to fit.)

Across the trenches--or what he assumed were supposed to be the trenches--he heard several foreign expletives. Spanish, he decided after a moment or two of thought. Then, he heard footsteps, and Tenten ducked around the wall right in front of Kakashi. He shot her before she even turned around. As her vest beeped, she pouted, adjusting her helmet. Kakashi scampered off before her vest rebooted and she could shoot him back.

He nearly ran into Hidan. On reflex, they both shot each other, but luckily the vests didn't recognize friendly fire. "Shit, don't scare me like that again…!" Hidan exclaimed, tilting back his helmet to wipe his forehead.

"_You_ ran into _me_," Kakashi retorted. "But where's Kabuto?"

"How the bloody 'ell should _I_ know? He ran off with Sasori at the beginning of this god-awful war."

"You know you like the carnage, even if it's fake." Hidan just shrugged, not bothering to deny it. Then, in unison, both their vests went off. They looked around wildly, until they spotted a figure crouched on one of the platforms across the room. Konan looked up from behind her scope, smiling at them.

They ran for cover, and Kakashi threw himself into one of the 'trenches', which was really just a narrow opening between two overturned boxes of some sort. He was surprised to find Deidara crouching behind them as well, holding his helmet tight over his head. "Why'd you come in _here_?" the blonde asked, frowning at him. "Kakuzu and Haku have got us pinned, yeah!"

"Us?" Kakashi looked over Deidara's shoulder, pleased to find Kabuto. "Well, I was running from Konan; she got me and Hidan…"

"Well, we're just waiting for Zabuza to finally get those two out of the way for us--" Kabuto was cut off as his vest beeped. He looked up, to where Suigetsu was standing over them, perched on the raised platforms. He quickly shot both Deidara and Kakashi as well before they could retaliate. Evidently he'd snuck up on them while they were talking.

"Close enough to Pearl Harbor as I'm gonna get!" he said with a laugh before darting off. Deidara stood up, ignoring the shots fired, and just threw his helmet at the stand-in Japanese soldier's back, successfully flooring him.

"Hiroshima, bitch!" the blonde shouted back, just as his vest rebooted and he was promptly gunned down again by Kakuzu.

As he sat back down, Kabuto said in a strained voice, "Please don't throw your helmet again."

"Ha! We got France, we got France!" The three trapped in the trench looked up as Kisame's shouting reached them. They peeked up over the edge, mindful of keeping their vests out of sight, and found Kisame marching Sasori across the arena. Or rather, pushing him ahead of him, shooting him every time his vest rebooted.

Deidara plucked Kabuto's helmet from his head, and before the latter could stop him, he tossed the helmet over the edge of the trench like a grenade, ducking back down with satisfaction when he heard a shout from Kisame. A moment later, Sasori dove into the trench with them, nearly clipping Deidara.

"I told you not to throw--"

"I didn't throw _my_ helmet, yeah," Deidara replied flippantly.

"Follow the rules from now on," Kabuto ground out, reaching back to tighten his ponytail. Looking up and down the line of soldiers, he grimaced. "Okay, so there are four of us here. That's over half our team. Zabuza and Hidan are still out there, though. They'll have to dig us out of here…"

And as if on cue, their two teammates suddenly jumped over the trench, shooting indiscriminately. Deidara jumped up and followed them without a second thought, grabbing Sasori's helmet and putting it on his head as he did so. Hidan was shot nearly right away, but just took the opportunity to get closer to Kakuzu and flat-out tackled him, pinning him to the ground as Zabuza overtook Kisame. Tenten and Karin both backed up, shooting at them as they did so. Deidara dispatched them (thankfully not with the helmet, however). Kakashi, still kneeling in the trench, turned around and leaned back, getting Konan in his laser gun's scope before she could do any more damage. He pulled the trigger, and barely heard her vest beep over the din.

Zabuza was quickly gunned down by Haku, Deidara soon following a similar fate. But Sasori then took out the brunette exchange student as he chased Kisame across the room, trying to get a clear shot at him. Konan took care of him; she just came back from the adjoining room, now sporting a red vest. "Russia's changed sides," she announced, shooting Suigetsu at point-blank range as she passed him. Kakuzu nodded and shoved Hidan off of him, running and fetching his new vest as well.

Soon, the five remaining members of the blue team were huddled up in a corner. They were fighting valiantly, but to no avail. At least, it was to no avail until Karin and Tenten managed to make a break for it, circling around them and pinning the red team between them. So the war ended.

"Does the Axis usually win?" Kakashi asked, rubbing his neck. That helmet had gotten kind of heavy after awhile, especially considering their game lasted almost an hour.

"When Kisame plays," Kabuto admitted. "Though _once_ Sasori beat him, when it was just the two of them."

"Good thing he wasn't around seventy years ago, then," Zabuza remarked wryly, folding his hands behind his head.

Kakashi pulled off his helmet, rotating his neck to try to shoo away the pain. He would definitely be feeling this tomorrow morning… Kabuto came up behind him, innocuously lacing their fingers together. He didn't look at his boyfriend, but instead smiled at the de-vesting members of both teams. "There were definitely some surprises in this war… I should think we're lucky they weren't actually true to history."

"Huh?" Zabuza eyed him, before sparing a brief glance at their hands with a huff. "I think that you're wrong; history's lucky it didn't play out like what happened today."

Kabuto nodded thoughtfully. He opened his mouth to say something, but Sasori and Kisame came back then, arguing loudly. He looked over them, wincing at some of the colorful language, before tugging insistently on Kakashi's hand. The American couldn't help but raise an eyebrow; Kabuto usually didn't act so…clingy. "Let's get out of here," he said in a low voice. Kakashi barely heard him over the argument that was rapidly gaining languages.

They departed while the fight distracted the rest of the two armies. "Aren't you worried they'll start World War 3?" Kakashi asked once they were outside. There was a light breeze, ruffling their hair, but it wasn't overly cold out. The sky overhead, however, didn't seem very friendly.

Kabuto looked up at the sky. The sky responded to him by spitting at him. And soon, quite a little drizzle had started. He sighed, pulling his hood over his head. "I was wondering why it wasn't raining…"

"Does it always rain?" Kakashi asked, frowning. He didn't have a hood, after all; the hoodie he'd brought with him earlier was now on his boyfriend's body.

"…You're kidding, right?"

"…No?"

"It _always_ rains here. You were lucky you got to see so many cheerful, sunny days." Kabuto glared mutinously at the sky once more, before ducking his head and looking around. He spotted a little café down the street and tugged Kakashi along behind him. "We'll be dry in here…"

"And that's the only reason you decided to come in here? We could have had one of those romantic kisses in the rain--"

"How is that romantic?" Kabuto cut in, pulling off his hood and shaking out his hair. "We'd both catch colds or pneumonia. Or worse."

Kakashi hadn't really considered that. "Well…"

Kabuto smiled at him, chuckling. "Sorry. I just don't have an impractical romantic bone in my body. Unlike you; your entire skeleton is made of such material."

"That's good, right?" Kakashi tried, walking backwards to the counter so he could continue this conversation. "Someone has to balance out your responsible behavior with some silliness. And--" He promptly ran into the counter, landing on it on his back. He was suddenly staring up at a surprised face. He heard Kabuto hastily stifle a laugh.

The surprised face, framed by wavy black hair, tilted to one side, before breaking out into a smile. "There are better ways to get my attention if you wanted to buy coffee, you know," she said. Kakashi quickly got off of the counter, trying to rub his head again; great, now his head hurt from where he'd bumped it, _and_ there was the neck pain from the helmets… He considered himself lucky that he wasn't in bed right then, moaning and groaning with the severe headaches that were sure to come.

"That was an accident," he said, returning her smile to get over his embarrassment. Again, he could have sworn he heard Kabuto laugh.

"You're lucky I didn't have any drinks in my hands; I'm pretty sure I would have spilled them on you," the girl said with a chuckle, batting her eyes at him. Kakashi leaned forward on the counter, much more suave this time, and gave her his best grin.

"I guess it's my lucky day, then, miss. Am I lucky enough to get a free drink for me and my baby, hmm?"

"It's Kurenai, not 'miss'." She laughed, brushing her dark hair over one shoulder. "And no, I'm afraid you're not quite that lucky. But… I think you're lucky enough for a discount."

So as Kakashi returned with Kabuto to one of the tables by a window, he was asked, "How did you _do_ that?"

The American student shrugged, warming his hands with the cup. "It's a gift. Ladies cannot resist my charm."

Kabuto rolled his eyes, but he smiled nonetheless. "I suppose it's a useful gift… But she was flirting with you."

"No, she was being friendly."

"Kakashi, she _was_ kind of flirting with you. Didn't you see how she kept batting her eyes and playing with her hair?"

Kakashi decided to get out of dangerous waters, and fast. So, averting his gaze so he was staring out at the dreary ol' English landscape, he fielded, "Okay, so what if she was? I made it perfectly clear we were together, and anyway, it still got us almost-free coffee. Kabuto, sweetie, it's not like I was flirting back."

"Oh, no, I know you weren't," he said quickly, blushing a bit. "I just don't see why you were so friendly with her…"

He shrugged. "I try to be friendly with most people. I don't try to encourage them, but it'd be rude to brush them off just because they're, well, teenagers."

Kabuto stared at him evenly over the rim of his cup, but he had a faint frown. "…You're quite used to this sort of behavior, aren't you?" Kakashi just nodded. Sighing, and not without a bit of sarcasm, he added, "It must be hard to be so attractive."

"Of course it is," Kakashi replied without thinking. Kabuto hit him, scowling. Grinning sheepishly, Kakashi amended, "I-I mean, you know, high school girls… They're just…" His defense was flimsy at best. Probably his biggest chance of getting out of this unscathed was smiling and looking cute. (Which was funny; that was what had gotten him into this.)

Kabuto was still frowning rather fiercely, not buying his excuse. "The behavior of others should not influence your own…" He then sat back, and, crossing his arms, continued to mutter under his breath. Kakashi was fairly certain he heard the words 'chaste' and 'flirtatious' among the rest of the hiss.

"If I buy you a cookie, will that make it better?" Kakashi tried.

"Why would I want a cookie?" Kabuto asked warily.

"I don't know. But I was kind of hoping you'd get chocolate all over your mouth and I could help you get it off."

-.-.-

When it started to rain, those who hadn't left yet were stuck inside, lest they get soaked walking back. And as Kakuzu was the only one who'd left aside from Kakashi and Kabuto, it meant most of them were stuck there.

Sasori and Kisame were still going at it, though each in his native language. Most of the other students were looking on, though the argument lost most of its excitement when it switched languages and they couldn't understand it anymore.

"Why are you two shouting in French and German?" Karin finally burst out, standing with her fists clenched. The two arguing stopped and turned to look at her in unison.

"Uh, 'ello? They _are_ French and German," Hidan pointed out, rolling his eyes.

"No, I mean…" Karin sat back down with a defeated sigh, but retained her glare. Only now, she turned it on the Brit. "They have been here the longest, and they speak the most of their language. Shouldn't they be fluent by now?"

Sasori and Kisame both colored, looking away. Hidan burst out laughing.

"I agree with her. I don't get them, yeah," Deidara agreed, raising his hand. There were several more nods. "We all speak more English than you two."

"You _already_ speak English," Haku pointed out in a deadpan. The blonde shrugged it off.

Hidan, still chuckling, wiped a tear out of his eye and explained, "Kabuto thinks they're bloody _homesick_. They've been 'ere for what, two or three fucking years? And Kisame, 'e 'asn't seen anyone in that time, and Sasori over there left behind a family 'e 'asn't seen for a year. You newbies just don't understand, but just you wait until the 'omesickness sets in, okay?"

The foreign exchange students all looked at their feet at the same time, suddenly horrified of what they had gotten themselves into.

-.-.-

The next week, Deidara had made little progress on his art project. And, as if this wasn't frustrating enough, Kakuzu was single-handedly deciding every game they played in P.E. Pein helped, undoubtedly, but Kakuzu was dominating. Deidara was beginning to fear P.E., mostly because they were still playing rugby until the end of the week. It was twice as physical as football with half of the padding.

So, as he slouched into French I, thankfully his last period, Deidara was dismayed to find Sasori sitting at the teacher's desk.

"What the hell," he said, not bothering to turn it into a question. He was already stiff and sore from the abuse, frustrated with his art project, and generally annoyed at the population at large. He did _not_ need to see Sasori for the second time that day.

"…You're taking French?" Sasori asked in reply, seeming surprised.

"Well, yeah. I've been in this class for a week now. You are _not_ in French _one_; you speak the language! So why are you here, yeah?" Deidara deduced shrewdly, sitting down at his desk. He kept his eyes on Sasori, wary of any funny business.

"_C'est vrai_. But, because it was the first week last week… I just decided not to come." He shrugged, leaning back in the teacher's chair.

"What does that mean?"

"As you said, I speak _français_." Just his accent was grating on Deidara's already raw nerves. "So I'm the aide for the teacher for this hour."

"That doesn't make any sense."

Sasori shrugged. "There's a certain amount of…leniency…when it comes to me. I'm a special case."

"Why, yeah?" Deidara was _tired_ of not getting a straight answer, and he was beyond annoyed with Sasori. By now, too, the rest of the students were watching their argument with interest from their desks. The American had never liked being the center of attention, and that only made things worse.

"For starters, the teacher doesn't particularly care if I come to this class or not. But since he's not here today, and I'm technically the aide… I'm basically your substitute." Sasori shrugged again. "Kisame is in the same boat with his German class today. The French and German teacher is the same person."

After listening to the arrogant redhead's condescending tone in Art, getting verbally abused by Karin and Suigetsu in English, and physically abused by Kakuzu and Pein in P.E., Deidara was pretty much fed up.

Gathering up his things, he stood up, and walked out of the classroom. Sasori made no move to stop him.

Deidara dropped his stuff off at the room, before making his way to the Art room once more. Only class was in session, so he had to turn back. Eventually, he just made his way back to the dorm room, after finding none of the other teachers on his 'favorite' list free. A nap would do him good, he decided.

Deidara didn't know what time it was when a heavy backpack was dropped on his stomach. "Oof," he grunted, pushing it off and rolling over onto his side to protect himself from further attack.

"Why are you sleeping?" his assailant, Kakashi, asked from above. "I usually get back after school before you do. How did you beat me here?"

"I skipped."

"Deidara," Kakashi ground out, sitting on the bed by his feet. Deidara responded by pulling the pillow over his head. "Don't do that! I'm serious."

"So am I. When it's stupid _Sasori_ teaching the class, I've had it, yeah."

The older of the two sighed, running a hand through his light hair. "…Deidara, you _can't_ start skipping and getting in trouble again."

"I didn't get in trouble."

"You can't skip. That _is_ getting in trouble. It's only the _second_ week, anyway!"

"It was fucking Sasori."

"So? Deal with it! _You're_ the one who signed up for _French_ class." After getting no reply, Kakashi tore the pillow out of his grasp, hitting him with it. "We both get deported if you screw up now, you know!"

"My grades are fine. You're staying here with your precious _boyfriend_," he hissed, glaring at his roommate.

"They won't stay 'fine' if you keep skipping!"

"Oh fuck--it was _one day_, Kakashi!" Deidara sat up, nearly hitting his head on the top bunk.

"One day becomes two, then three, then however many others, and then we get _deported_! Do you _want_ to go to juvie?!"

"It'll be better than this place! I can't understand half the shit they teach here, the weather's crappy, Kabuto's a pompous ass--" Deidara cut himself off when he saw Kakashi's glare. He sullenly looked at his hands in his lap. "Well, he _is_…"

"No, he's not. You're the one who chose to come on this program, Deidara, and you had better not back down now."

"Why? Just because I'll drag you down with me, yeah?"

"That too--but don't you have any dignity or self-respect? You aren't just going to give up, are you?"

"Of course not," he replied automatically.

"Good. Now you'll never skip again, you'll keep your grades up, you'll stop complaining, and you'll go apologize to Sasori right now for skipping his class." Kakashi stood up, holding out his hand to help Deidara up. The blonde, for his part, stared at him incredulously.

"…_Apologize_?"

"Yeah, _oui_, _ja_, _si_, whatever language you want. March."

Deidara probably could have taken Kakashi under other circumstances, but not when he was still sore from P.E. and when he knew he was probably in the moral wrong. But it didn't mean he'd like it. He was forcibly marched to Kabuto and Sasori's dorm room, but it seemed he lucked out in the end.

Because Sasori and Kabuto both were much too intent on something else to be bothered with a silly apology.

But if Deidara could have known what was coming next, he would have preferred the apology.

"Ah, Kakashi, Deidara, just the two I wanted to see," Kabuto welcomed them, in a deceptively sweet voice.

"Huh?"

"See, Sasori and I were discussing ah, _preparations_ for next week, and we needed some input from the Americans," Kabuto continued, still saccharine.

"…_Huh_? What input--?" Kakashi asked, completely nonplussed.

Kabuto glanced at Sasori, and then returned his gaze to his boyfriend. Then, both the Brit and the Frenchman grinned in a way that could only be described as demonic. "Next week is Cultural Week."


	7. Seven: Cultural Week Part I

Cultural Week was a special kind of hell for foreign exchange students, Deidara soon found out.

Actually, it was a special kind of hell for pretty much everybody involved, but the foreign exchange students were in a different boat than the rest of the British population. But unlike with most other things having to do with the foreign students at his school, Kabuto was happy to be making these preparations. No, he was _thrilled_. Sasori was equally excited.

Generally speaking, Cultural Week was just that--a week of classes designed to help students learn about each others' cultures. With foreign exchange students, that was probably a good idea. Already many of the customs were throwing other people for a loop, and it wasn't even the big ones. Like when Sasori marked Deidara down on a quiz because he held up two fingers--his index and middle--to show the number two; apparently, whether he held it up or not, the French considered the thumb one of the counting fingers. (Deidara subsequently got up and walked out of class again.)

So in theory, Cultural Week would be a grand thing.

Only it _wasn't_.

Deidara was first set on edge when Kabuto mentioned costumes.

He was outright panicking when he overheard Sasori and Kabuto discussing 'Hidan's Clause' in very evil tones.

It was finally explained to them, and the rest of the first year exchange students, on Friday evening.

"Next week is the start of Cultural Week," Kabuto said with a disarming smile. "There are a few traditions at this school involving this week, and I am speaking to you about them as a student, not anything else. …So this is _sub rosa_, understand?"

He had gotten access to the theater, and was now sitting on the edge of the stage with his feet hanging down. Hidan was sitting beside him, grinning. Sasori and Kisame were both on the stage as well, conversing in low tones. The rest of the foreign population at their school was sitting in the front two rows.

Tenten raised her hand. Kabuto sighed, and without waiting for the question, answered, "_Sub rosa_ means 'under the rose' in Latin. It's an old saying that means whatever is said in this room _stays_ in this room." She put her hand back down.

"Go on," Hidan said, nudging Kabuto with his elbow. Kabuto shot him a glare, but cleared his throat and continued regardless.

"As I was saying… Cultural Week. This was made primarily for the sake of the exchange students. But generally speaking, a fun time is had by all." There were far too many evil snickers for Deidara to be entirely comfortable. "This year is a first, I'll admit. We have…seven new students, and two in their third year. No intermediates this year. But, I am glad that several of you are in pairs…"

Hidan nudged Kabuto again, this time a bit harder. But he was grinning. "Get on with it…!"

Kabuto rolled his eyes, adjusting his glasses. "It starts on Monday, so in three days. And it goes on through next Sunday--not _this_ Sunday, but the one following that."

"For fuck's sake--GET ON WITH IT, YAKUSHI!" Hidan burst out, full-out shoving him off the stage. Kabuto seemed to be expecting this, because he caught himself easily on his feet, and Deidara swore he saw a smirk as he straightened.

"As you are all from different cultures, we are supposed to encourage you to embody your culture. If I may use laymen's terms… Become your stereotypical countryman." Now, his voice dropped in pitch, and he continued rather scarily (there was no other word to describe it; Deidara tried to think of several), "Ah, costumes _are_ mandatory. Speak in your native language. _Be yourself_, as stereotypical as you can be."

There were mixed reactions. Deidara, personally, stopped listening after the mandatory costumes. "Costumes? What do you mean by that--?"

"Well, usually we push for traditional outfits, but really, as no one wears them in everyday life anymore, they're more costumes…" Kabuto returned to his former cheer, smiling at them all. "For example, you, Deidara, could go as an American cowboy…?"

"Fuck no!" he replied, aghast. Kakashi clapped a hand over his mouth to stop himself from laughing.

"Oh, good." Deidara suddenly felt safer as the cowboy, if Kabuto's grin was anything to go by. The British teen chuckled darkly. "…Then I am brought to our next point. Hidan's Clause."

Sasori and Kisame stopped their conversation and cracked up. Hidan rubbed his hands together, grinning maniacally.

By now, most of the foreign exchange students were leaning forward, most of them wearing horrified expressions. Kabuto leaned in conspiratorially, the lights' glare momentarily reflecting off his glasses and obscuring his eyes from them.

"In order to balance out the gender ratio, and to fully represent other countries, if there are two students from any given country, both genders must be represented in dress. Likewise, if there is only one student from a country, and if he or she is going to be staying here for more than a year, in the next year, they must represent the opposite gender unless another student joins them."

"…We have to _cross dress_?!" Karin shrieked, following this exclamation with a long string of Spanish expletives.

-.-.-

That evening, Kakashi and Deidara were staring at each other from across their room. Each of them was trying to stare the other down; neither of them wanted to dress as the girl.

Kabuto had explained the entire clause to them. It was even approved by the principal, so there wasn't much they could do. And Kabuto and Hidan both assured everyone that they would enforce these rules to the fullest extent of the law--they would hunt down anyone not abiding by the rules and make them, if need be.

Plus, with Sasori and Kabuto both on their backs, there was no way both Americans would get off scot-free. One of them would have to take a bullet, so to speak.

"…You _are_ the more feminine--" Kakashi started.

"Oh, no, you're not pulling that, yeah. If anything, that should mean _you're_ in a dress!" Deidara put his hands in front of him protectively.

"Wait, we haven't even decided the costumes. One of us might not have to wear a dress; plenty of American chicks don't have to, these days. We might get away with a tight pair of pants or something," Kakashi tried. But Deidara would not be swayed.

"You _know_ they're going to try and get one of us in a skirt, at the very least, yeah."

"…Yeah…" That much was true. Kabuto and Sasori were out for blood--or skirt, as the case was. Of course, they were divided on _which_ to put in said skirt, which bought the Americans some time. Not much, but it was some.

"Does this mean that Kisame and Sasori have to dress gay?" Deidara asked suddenly, brightening.

Kakashi shook his head; this had already occurred to him. "No… Both of them have been here _three_ years, remember? Kabuto said that they'd come up with Hidan's Clause just for them, and it only caught them last year…" Deidara's face fell, and they were once again at odds with each other.

Kakashi _knew_ he wasn't going to be the one in the dress, or skirt, or whatever. He was perfectly content with being an American cowboy, thank you very much. (Plus, it would give him an excuse to watch Brokeback Mountain with Kabuto.) But he couldn't think of anything that he could use as a weapon… He just didn't know Deidara well enough.

"You know, I think Sasori's the one pushing for you to get in a skirt-dress-whatever. I bet you'd impress him if you did."

Deidara was not amused. "No," he said flatly, and left it at that. Kakashi scowled beneath his scarf, trying to think of another approach.

"We have the _whole_ weekend to argue this out, Deidara. That's plenty of time for this to get bloody," he warned.

This backfired on him, however, when Deidara grinned demonically. "You _really_ think you can take me in a fight, Hatake? You may be bigger than me, but I can guarantee you I'd win, yeah."

Kakashi suddenly remembered why the juvenile delinquent was there in the first place; he wouldn't doubt that fighting had been among the charges brought up against the blonde. "Nevermind…" It wasn't that he was backing down. He just figured he'd try for a simpler, more peaceful way to get Deidara to be the one to be sacrificed. If all else failed, he could always go to Sasori for help…

As if summoned, there was a knock on the door. "Come in," both boys said in unison.

"Kabuto wants to see you, Kakashi, and for some reason he couldn't just come here _himself_." Sasori didn't sound happy as he poked his head into the room. "I believe it's to discuss your, ah, costumes for next week."

"It's plural now?!" That was bad; it meant they could potentially catch _both_ of them in female clothing. Kakashi tugged at his scarf nervously. He was _not_ going to cross dress because of this stupid Cultural Week, even if Kabuto got on his knees and _begged_.

"Kabuto seems to think so…" Sasori rolled his eyes, contempt dripping from his voice. "_Mais oui_, this could entail more than one outfit."

_Good! That means there's still time to argue my way out of this_, Kakashi thought, racing for the door. Sasori stood aside, letting him out for his escape. The door to Kabuto's room was still ajar, presumably from Sasori's departure, and Kakashi threw it open without preamble. "I am _not_ wearing a skirt!"

Kabuto jumped. He was at his desk, book open in front of him. "Excuse me?"

"I'm not the one who's going to cross dress, Kabuto. I'm saying that right now." The American started digging his trench, so to speak. Now as long as he could hold his position for the weekend, he'd be home free.

"You came here _just_ to tell me that?" Kabuto asked flatly, turning in his chair to face him better.

"No… I came here because Sasori told me to, but I'm laying down the ground rules now." Now, he was set. Kakashi was deep in his trench, helmet on, rifle aimed to stop any advancements. Boyfriend or not, surely there were several things he could refuse Kabuto on.

"…He said that?" For a moment, Kabuto smiled mysteriously. But the moment passed, and he brightened as he turned back to Kakashi. "Of course. Of course he did. …Now, about your costume--"

"I'm not wearing more than one."

"…Why not?" He seemed caught off guard. He blinked a few times behind his glasses, seemingly in confusion.

"Because. It's going to be hard enough throwing together one 'costume'…"

"But there are five school days, seven days total if you count the weekend. Are you _really_ going to wear the same thing all of those days? You won't be smelling so nice by the end of the week…" He wrinkled his nose, but he smiled all the same.

"But… I only have the weekend to come up with something suitable…" Kakashi replied pitifully; he was already losing ground.

"I believe the suggested packing list mentioned something about a 'traditional outfit'…?" Kabuto said dubiously, giving him a stern look.

Kakashi had been hoping he'd forgotten about that. Nonetheless, he still had his ace in the hole. "Yeah, I guess." Kabuto didn't have to know _what_ that outfit was. Quickly changing the subject, he asked, "So what are _you_ wearing, then?"

Kabuto laughed and allowed him his topic switch. "I was thinking I'd go something Harry Potter-esque. Isn't that how most of the world views Britain these days?"

"Kinda," he said, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. Kakashi had, anyway, but that was only because he was a fan of the series. Most kids who hadn't read the books probably wouldn't think so, though.

"Do you have your outfits all planned out?" Back to dangerous waters. "And don't say you can't get anything. You could probably borrow _something_ from Deidara, right? He's not that much shorter than you, and unless it's a tight shirt normally, you could probably still wear it…"

Kakashi hung his head. He knew when he was defeated; all of his escape routes had been cut off. …At least he wasn't going to be the one in the skirt.

-.-.-

"Before you ask, I'm _not_ cross-dressing. I don't even have any feminine clothing, yeah," Deidara said immediately after his roommate left.

Sasori gave him a mild look. "Did I say anything about wearing feminine clothing?"

"You were _thinking_ it."

"You can read minds now. I commend you for such a skill." He chuckled dryly. Deidara glared at him.

"What are _you_ wearing, huh?"

"_Je ne sais pas_. Probably a beret; I managed to get away with zat my first year." Sasori walked over and perched on the edge of the bed, a comfortable enough distance from Deidara. "What are _you_ wearing?"

"…I don't know. I have some clothes from before I moved, yeah. Maybe just some of my regular clothes…" He considered himself fairly trendy, if a bit unique in his taste in clothing. It would be easy enough to get away with that stuff, especially since he had clothes from so many different states. He had moved a lot, prior to 'settling' in New York; most of his wardrobe was not from New York. Some of his favorite outfits were several years old, barely fitting, and in much different styles.

"Moved?" Sasori seemed confused. "…What?"

"You know… Move? Live elsewhere? Pack up everything you own, leave all your friends and familiar places, and go live in a strange city?" Deidara gestured vaguely, wondering how to explain the concept of moving.

"Ah." Apparently, he explained it fairly well. "…I wouldn't know what that's like. I've lived in Paris most of my life."

"But you're living in England now," he pointed out. Sasori nodded thoughtfully, with an air of discovery. "Didn't you ever travel anywhere outside of Paris? Don't Europeans usually have some sort of country home, yeah?"

"…How stereotypical."

"Isn't that what Cultural Week is about?" Deidara grinned at him, pleased at getting the upper hand at last.

"Where did you live before…wherever?" And just like that, it was gone again. Sasori was staring at him politely, though he didn't seem very interested. Or maybe that was the effect of constant lidded eyes and faint frowns.

"New York. That's where Kakashi and I both came from, yeah," Deidara supplied, fielding the question.

"Isn't that a big city?"

"Yeah. It's pretty big."

"So we're both from _villes grands_…" Sasori murmured, nodding to himself.

The blonde American frowned, a bit peeved. "Stop speaking French all of the time. It's hard enough to understand you with that accent normally." Sasori snapped his attention back to Deidara, flushing.

Then, he darkened into a scowl. "Get used to eet, _idiot_. Next week, eet eez nothing _but_ French. Pay attention once in awhile in class and you might be able to learn ze basics."

"When you stop pretending to be the teacher, maybe I'll start attending that class to pick up a bit," he replied with a sneer.

"_Le prof_ is usually using zat period to catch up on 'is work. Kisame is teaching German; why can't I teach _français_?" Sasori retorted.

"Is that even legal?"

"You don't know anything about Britain's legal system."

"And you do?"

"More than you."

Pretty soon, they were both huffing and growling, arms crossed, facing away from each other. Deidara was fuming; why was Sasori so stuck up and hell bent on belittling him all of the time?! It wasn't quite bad enough for him to miss America, but it was getting there. Slowly, but surely, and definitely with Sasori's help.

-.-.-

Monday finally came, and the school was in nothing short of chaos. The dormitories were no exception; if anything, they were worse. Kabuto was periodically running back and forth between his room and various exchange students'. He was also trying to get dressed at the same time, so most people who watched him hurry past had to be impressed with his multitasking ability.

"Sasori, _please_--_s'il vous plaît_--wear something more French! And Kakashi--can you please help me with this scarf? It's trying to strangle me, I swear." Kabuto didn't wait for either response; he stormed out of the room when he caught sight of Kisame in his Nazi uniform, yet again. The German exchange student had been trying for nearly an hour to sneak past Kabuto's room in uniform. Kabuto was actually changing with the door wide open, just so he could keep an eye out for Kisame.

"…He's going to give himself a heart attack from stress," Kakashi said tonelessly. Sasori nodded, equally amazed and apprehensive about his roommate's potential looming breakdown. "Say, Sasori, have you seen Deidara?"

The redhead tilted his head to the side, thinking. "…No, I haven't. Why?"

"I woke up, and he was missing from his bed. I think he's trying to skip out on dressing like a girl…"

"Oh really." Kakashi grinned, pleased with himself, as Sasori marched off with the mission of finding Deidara and forcing him into a skirt by whatever means necessary. Kabuto came back in, nearly running into Sasori, and somehow managed to stand still long enough for Kakashi to fix his scarf. He was dressed as a Ravenclaw student; Kakashi found this both fitting and adorable.

"I swear, if I see Kisame pass that door one more time, I am going to kill him. I will take a knife and bloody murder him."

"Why doesn't he find an alternate route out of the dorm?"

"He doesn't because he _wants_ to piss me off!" With that, Kabuto stormed out again, this time pouncing on a hapless Tenten.

"I wasn't doing anything this time!" she squealed, along with several Spanish words. Kakashi hastily broke them up, pulling Kabuto away before her dress ripped; she was actually very pretty with her hair down, wearing a layered, scarlet dress. He didn't know what kind of dress it actually _was_, but he knew it was Spanish, at least. He often saw women in movies wearing them, dancing or doing the tango, though usually with some sort of flower in their hair as well…

"Go get Karin ready!" Kabuto snarled, and Tenten ran off with a squeak. Then, without missing a beat, he sighed and turned, burying his face in Kakashi's chest. "Kashiiii, I don't want to be in charge anymore."

"Grow a pair, Yakushi." Kakashi glowered at Hidan as he strode towards them. The silver-haired Brit had Sasori by the back of the neck in one hand, Kisame in the other. Hidan glanced at Kakashi, and said by way of explanation (or apology), "He always gets so bloody stressed during fucking Cultural Week. It's normal. You just have to push him through all the hell."

"Right." He would probably be a bit kinder to Kabuto than Hidan, however.

"I found these two sneaking off through the back door. I don't know what this faggot was doing, but this one is wearing this uniform _again_."

"I'm looking for Deidara!" Sasori snapped.

"This _is_ cultural!" Kisame added in a whine. "During the thirties and forties, Nazism was a big part of my country--"

"Kisame, go change before you get arrested!"

Somehow, the morning heyday passed into actual _classes_. Several British students were in Harry Potter outfits, but they were a small minority. Most of the natives had more fun dressing as _other_ nationalities; Kabuto wearily explained during Latin that it was a bit of a tradition for the British students to adopt other countries. Whoever dressed the most outrageously got the unspoken prize of respect and ridicule for the following month or so.

Somehow, the school--or at least those involved in the foreign exchange program--managed to get through first period with minimal casualties. Second period, however, brought the battle up a notch. Kabuto and Kakashi already staked out their corner in Biology, watching warily as Sasori and the teacher went at it.

Sasori was shouting at him in a disjointed garble of English and French. Somehow, Orochimaru was keeping up with him. Several students, including Kakashi, were watching with mouths agape. Kabuto sighed, leaned over, and whispered, "He's used to Sasori. That's how he can understand him."

"Can _you_ understand him? I can't even understand the English words!" Kakashi whispered back, mismatched eyes still on the argument at the front of the class.

"Barely. Sasori rarely gets like this, but it's usually with Mr. Orochimaru… So I assume that Mr. Orochimaru has had these arguments enough with him to be able to understand him." Then, Kabuto leaned against his shoulder, wrapping his arms around his upper arm. "It makes me glad that you speak English as a native."

Sasori got detention for all of next week; it was an unwritten rule that foreign exchange students didn't get punished _during_ Cultural Week. The French student stomped over to Kabuto and threw down his books with as much violence as he could manage. Orochimaru glowered at him. The argument was apparently over; no one even knew what had _started_ it, much less what had ended it.

The rest of the day up until lunch wasn't much better. Deidara was officially missing, as discovered by Sasori (the only one who had a class with him before lunch). Kisame was still in his Nazi uniform, Karin and Tenten had also gotten detention by staging a mock bull fight, and Pein and Kakuzu barely escaped detention as well; they had decided to play up the Communist side of Russia a bit too much.

It was at lunch that they first found the Russian pair. Neither of them were looking particularly feminine. Kabuto sent Sasori off after Kisame and Hidan; he and Kakashi approached them alone. "…You two, you're not obeying the rules."

It was difficult to imagine anything more frightening than getting stared down by two tall, muscular Russian guys who could have probably broken Kabuto like a toothpick. Kakashi bristled and moved to stand protectively in front of his boyfriend; he wasn't up to par with either of them, but he had been on the football team Stateside, and knew how to tackle.

The glaring continued, and both Russians remained silent. Kabuto stared coldly back at them, though the fact that he had to tilt his head back downplayed his intimidation skills. Kakashi shifted nervously. It wasn't until Sasori returned with the other two that the situation began to diffuse itself. "Oi! One of you had better get his ass in a skirt real fucking soon if you don't want to get deported!" Hidan was stretching the truth a bit, but at least it worked.

By the end of lunch, Kakuzu was in a dress. It was interesting that the taller and supposedly stronger of the two was the one who gave in; Pein remained his usual stoic self and offered no insight into Russian hierarchy.

Haku alone was the only one who hadn't gotten in some sort of trouble during the first half of the first day of Cultural Week. This was quite sad, if true. In fact, the only trouble he had with anything at all was the fact that too many people were crowding him, on account of his 'increased adorableness', as several girls called it. He was simply in an oversized, purple sweater, and a woolen hat with tassels on the end, and people--not all of them girls--just wouldn't leave them alone. Near the end of lunch, it got so bad that Kabuto and Zabuza, who somehow wound up appointing himself as Haku's 'protector', had to push their way through a small crowd and rescue the younger boy.

Now they only had to find Deidara.


	8. Huit: Semaine Culturelle Pièce II

**Author's Note**: OMG OMG WHAT IS THIS? WHAT IS THISSSSS? SKITTY UPDATED II?! It's a miracle, I know. x.o; Well... I had most of this chapter written already, and then I went through and edited it for better-ness today, and finished it up real quicklike. X3 Enough Cultural Week fun for this semester; it's getting distracting! D: Hope you like the end of it, and I'll try to update sooner next time.

PS: I actually have most of their (by most, I mean a few) outfits planned out. XD; I could only refer to a few of them, though. If you want, you can ask, and I'll fill you in on anyone's outfit! Granted I know what they wore... (PSS: When it refers to the Doctor, it's Doctor Who. The fourth Doctor, to be precise.)

-.-.-

"Are you going to be the one in the skirt?"

Deidara gave a violent start, dropping the lighter in his hands, simultaneously snapping his head up to glare down his unwanted visitor. He was surprised, however, to find that it was neither Kabuto nor his roommate--it was Haku, of all people. "What the hell do you want, yeah?" he snapped, hoping his aggression would scare the younger boy away.

"Kabuto is looking for you," Haku said, pulling at the bottom hem of his purple sweater.

"How did you find me first, then?"

"Zabuza saw you sneaking up to the roof," he said with a smile. He sat down beside Deidara, drawing his knees up to his chest. The blonde saw how it was that Haku was able to sneak up on him then; he was wearing some sort of furry moccasins, probably made from real animal hide. He was silent, as opposed to those in regular shoes.

"Why didn't you turn me in, then? As you pointed out, I should be in a skirt right now." He wasn't in a skirt, of course. There was no way in hell he'd get into a skirt without being tortured. Deidara was, however, in one of his outfits from New York, so technically he was following the rules. He tugged his hood down lower around his face, just in case Haku had brought someone else with him. Hopefully he wouldn't get recognized right away.

"I actually asked if you were going to be the one to cross dress…" Haku replied quietly, playing with the tassels on his hat. "I wasn't sure which of the Americans was going to. You and Kakashi both look thoroughly…male."

Deidara snorted, not dignifying that with a comment.

"_Are_ either of you going to dress as a girl?"

"Probably not, unless someone catches us, yeah…" Deidara hadn't brought anything remotely feminine, and he doubted Kakashi had, either, so he wasn't even sure how they were expected to cross dress and stay culturally stereotypical. True, either he or Kakashi probably had enough fashion sense to throw something together from some of their clothes and some borrowed skirts, but it didn't mean they were going to.

"Kakuzu is in a dress," the brunette said conversationally, smiling. "Kabuto rounded up a few friends and stared down both Kakuzu and Pein…"

"Is that a threat, yeah?"

"A forewarning."

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Deidara asked cautiously. He and Haku only knew _of_ each other. This was the first actual time they had said anything past a nervous greeting to each other.

"Are you going to be staying another year?" Haku asked instead.

"Don't know, yeah."

"I think I am. And this clause would catch me next year, and while I would be uncomfortable, I would probably be pressured into doing it. But not if I could look back in this year and see someone else get away with breaking the rules for the full week…" So it was in self-interest that Haku was helping him. That was better than pure kindness, Deidara decided. He could trust someone looking out for himself first, and _then_ others as a product of that self-preservation instinct. "Plus," Haku continued after a few moments, "You and I both already look feminine. I've heard you've been mistaken for a girl several times already. I have, too. Why make it worse for either of us to dress like a girl?"

Deidara nodded thoughtfully. He was just beginning to trust Haku when a hand came down from above and grabbed the top of his hood, hauling him upright. Instead of fighting it, Deidara just raised his arms and slipped out of the hoodie, landing on his knees as he rolled to see who it was this time. Zabuza--of course. He shot a betrayed glare at Haku before darting off, just in time to avoid a second grab by the taller student.

"Damn," Zabuza remarked just as Deidara reached the stairs. "He's fast when he wants to be."

"Yes, he is. He's only protecting himself, however." Haku nodded, only feeling a tiny bit sorry for Deidara. "Well, we've done our part. Can we go to lunch now?"

-.-.-

Sasori had always known that Kabuto was an excellent strategist, but he had to admit he was a bit surprised when Kakashi turned out to be one, too. They had agreed to send Haku up as potential bait with Zabuza as backup, but they had their exits covered, anyway.

Sasori was currently camped out with Kisame at the foot of the main staircase, hiding just behind each corner. In pairs, others had eagerly helped the cause; why should _they_ suffer when Deidara got off scot-free, right? The French student was pathetically amazed at the school's depravity when it came to the phrase 'misery loves company'. They weren't going to let anyone get away with anything less than what they were suffering.

"_I_ think it's funny," Kisame said, breaking into Sasori's thoughts.

"German. You're supposed to be speaking German," Sasori corrected sourly, though he was also speaking English. Mostly.

"Eh." He shrugged, adjusting the armband on his uniform. With all of the ruckus caused by Deidara, he had been free to change back into his Nazi uniform, which he did gleefully. So he also benefited from Deidara's potential pain, Sasori noticed. "You're over thinking this. It isn't a Psych assignment."

"I'm not over thinking anything," Sasori replied, peeking around the corner as he did so. Still no sign of any fleeing Americans. By this time, he had to assume that Deidara had taken the other staircase down, or had been caught by Zabuza. "I'm just… Thinking. _Un peu._"

"_Ja_, yeah right…" Kisame sighed, resting the back of his head against the wall. "How much longer do you think we will have to wait here? Lunch is almost over, and I didn't get to eat…"

"I didn't get to, either, you know," he said irritably, shooting a glare across the hallway to his comrade. "Deidara will either come down this way, or he'll go down Kabuto's hallway. They'll send someone once he's captured."

Just then, the door above them banged open. Both pressed themselves flat against their respective walls, hearing footsteps clomp down the stairs in leaps and bounds. Kisame held out his hand, counting down silently. Five, four, three, two…

Deidara streaked out of the stairwell before they reached one. Kisame had faster reflexes than Sasori, and also the bulk to back it up; he tackled Deidara and they both went sliding down the hall. Sasori barely got out of the way to avoid getting tackled as well. "Shit! It was a trap, wasn't it?!" Deidara howled, struggling to get away from Kisame, but the German held him down firmly.

"Shall we send him right to the gas chambers? Or do you think he's worthy of a camp?" Kisame asked, grinning broadly at Sasori.

The redhead regarded him flatly. "You're the reason there's so many neo-Nazis in the world right now, I would bet."

The pair force-marched Deidara back down to the lunchroom, which was mostly empty, mercifully. They had a sparse few minutes left of lunch, but they were definitely going to make use of it. There would be no dodging the rules when it came to Cultural Week, after all.

Most of the exchange students were assembled, plus a few of the students who stuck around to see the plan through to the end. They formed a ring around the main interests: Deidara and Kabuto. The Brit was standing in front of him, looking for all the world like the leader of some evil organization. Deidara was seated at one of the tables, Kisame on one side, Kakuzu on the other. Even the hilarity of seeing Kakuzu in a dress couldn't do anything to lighten Deidara's mood, unless it was to let him die laughing.

"Maybe _he_ should be the one wearing this uniform," Kisame whispered to Deidara, nodding towards Kabuto. He grunted in response.

"I heard that," Kabuto said flatly. Kisame didn't seem in the least apologetic.

"Just put him in a dress and be done with it," Hidan remarked around a sandwich. Most of them had gone without lunch, but he was the only one attempting to multitask in eating as well.

"It's not so simple…" Kabuto faked a sigh, shooting Kakashi a glance. "See, with an infraction of this sort… It will just have to be rectified." He snapped his fingers, and Kakashi was suddenly sitting beside the condemned Deidara. He looked somewhat confused, probably wondering how he had gotten there so quickly. The answer was that Zabuza had done the same thing to him as Deidara; snuck up behind him and acted silently.

"Wha--?"

"Both of you have disobeyed the rules," Kabuto cut off his boyfriend. Kakashi caught on with a horrified expression. Deidara smiled for the first time, a dark, nasty smile. He wasn't getting dragged down alone, it seemed. "The rules state that both sexes must be represented. And yet, neither of you could pass as female."

"Unless it was a dyke," Hidan added.

Kabuto rolled his eyes. "…Yes, that. Regardless! Here is what will happen. Both of you can dress however you'd like for the rest of the day. I'm not going to make either of you dress as a female today. But--tomorrow, _both_ of you will."

Kakashi had come up with the plan of using Haku and Zabuza to capture Deidara. But now, Sasori saw, Kabuto had out-planned even that; he had used that to his advantage to get what he wanted. The silver-haired student smiled contentedly like a cat as the bell rang and they all filed away for their classes. Sasori exhaled, glad it wasn't him this year.

-.-.-

It was halfway through sixth period--Psychology for both Kabuto and Kakashi. The two were studiously ignoring each other, having had one period to cool themselves off, which was entirely too much time for either boy to think about the situation. Kabuto, on one hand, wasn't going to listen to any begging or arguments. His decision stood firm. And, let's face it, he wanted to see Kakashi in a dress. Kakashi, on the other hand, was feeling mutinous and betrayed by his boyfriend. He had been nothing but loyal in the capture of Deidara, and look how he was treated! Despicable.

"All's fair in love and war," Kabuto hissed out of the corner of his mouth.

"Which one is this supposed to be?" Kakashi replied, equally venomous.

Kabuto didn't reply.

Unfortunately, it was hard to ignore each other when they were supposed to be working together in a group. The third member of their group, Haku, was completely lost. He knew the situation, but he had no idea what to do, so he was doing his Algebra homework instead. They weren't getting very far on their project, but he certainly wasn't going to be the one to tell them to get to work.

The bell rang, not a moment too soon.

-.-.-

The last period of the day also had its dueling pair, too: Deidara and Sasori. And unlike their roommates, who took the passive approach and ignored each other, these two were antagonizing each other every turn they got. Or rather--Sasori was instigating things, and Deidara was trying his hardest to defend himself.

"I am wondering what American dresses will look like," said the French student, grinning evilly behind his steepled fingers.

"Shouldn't you be teaching, yeah?" Deidara shot back.

The rest of the French class, quite used to this, either talked with each other or watched. No one was going to interrupt them; they didn't want class, either, after all.

"You are the one who constantly says I am not _le prof_."

"If you're not teaching, I'm not staying."

"If you leave, you'll get a detention. I'm picturing you in a tutu, and I'm wondering how far off I will be…"

"Fuck you!"

"Or one of those dresses--what are they called? A prom dress, _oui_."

Deidara got up and walked out of class.

-.-.-

"_What_ do you think you two are doing?" Kakashi asked critically, raising an eyebrow as Kabuto and Sasori came into their room so assumingly. He had been doing his homework, quite peacefully, too, when the interruption came. While it was Latin work and he usually would have welcomed Kabuto's help, tonight was not the usual.

"_Vous allez dormir chez vous, naturallement_," Sasori replied, sitting down on the empty bed. "_Ou est Deidara?_"

"English, please!" Kakashi didn't have the patience to deal with the both of them, but until Deidara got out of the shower, it looked like he'd have to. Lovely. He didn't need one, having taken one that morning, but he decided to take one after his roommate vacated it. Anything to get a few moments of peace.

"We'll be sleeping in here tonight. To make sure neither of you sneak out and try to skip out tomorrow," Kabuto told him in a businesslike tone. He set down a pile of blankets and a pillow on the floor, dropping his backpack by the items.

"_Both_ of you…?"

"Yes."

Kakashi didn't bother replying. It would be impossible to do any more homework that night, but it seemed as if the teachers were more lax during Cultural Week, so he supposed he'd be fine with this tiny slip-up in his usual schoolwork schedule. This, too, only increased his indignation. Did Kabuto _honestly_ think he'd be the sort to skip out? Deidara had already proven himself as that type, but Kakashi had a bit of honor.

…Not that he wouldn't have skipped out.

"_Ou est Deidara?_" Sasori repeated flatly, setting down his things at his feet.

"In the shower," Kakashi replied curtly, guessing at the question. "He should be out soon…"

On cue, the bathroom door opened and Deidara walked out. He looked at Kabuto, then Sasori, and then finally Kakashi, and walked over to the closet as if nothing was out of the ordinary. Kakashi grimaced, expecting a bigger reaction. Deidara grabbed his brush from his pile of things, and then walked back into the bathroom, the lock's click quite audible.

"He seems used to being babysat," Kabuto drawled.

"I suppose it would come with being a delinquent."

"Assholes," came the response from the bathroom.

The next morning, Kakashi woke up just as Deidara fell out of the top bunk. He had been trying to get down from there, but instead fell, waking up the other two, and successfully erasing any chance they had of escape. As the blonde American was clutching his head where he hit it, the other three got up and stretched as if nothing was wrong.

Inwardly, Kakashi was cursing his bad luck. If Deidara hadn't been so clumsy, then they both could have snuck out, and avoided this twisted sort of amusement. He was also inching towards the closet, wondering if he would be able to get to it first and take out a few of the things he needed to.

A knock on the door interrupted his plan, however. Sasori, being the closest, opened it. Surprisingly, it was Tenten and Karin on the other side. The girls shifted nervously, glancing at each other when they saw that it was Sasori who answered. "_Donde esta Kabuto?_" Karin asked, tilting her head to the side. "We checked your room, but--"

"I'm in here!"

"How many languages do you _know_?" Kakashi asked suspiciously.

"I'm only fluent in English," he replied vaguely. He wiggled out of his sleeping bag and opened the door wider after kicking it out of the way. "Ah, girls. …Why are you two here? Did you need something?"

The two looked at each other again, before thrusting out their hands. They had all sorts of different makeup products in their grasps. "If you are going to dress as girls, you need to look the part!" Karin exclaimed.

"…Humanity is depraved when it comes to torture," Sasori remarked wryly, glancing back to see Deidara and Kakashi backed into the corner, terrified.

-.-.-

"Hey, Kakashi, nice--"

"Don't."

"But--"

"Don't."

"But--"

"_Don't_."

Kakashi was as hostile as he'd ever been in his life. By fourth period, it came naturally, and he snapped at anyone to look at him the wrong way. Kisame was the latest victim of his anger, but he just wouldn't let it drop.

"I just wanted to say that you look _pretty_." There were entirely too many snickers around the classroom for Kakashi to pretend that no one had heard that. "You make a fine drag queen," Kisame added with a barely restrained grin.

"Teacher, can I go puke?" one of the girls asked, raising her hand. She was one of the few who wasn't amused by the demonstration. Kakashi peered at her more closely, trying to place her name, in case he needed an ally. He recognized her vaguely, but only from English class…

"No, you can't," the teacher replied, not looking up from his book. "Keep reading, class."

"Konan, why do you have to be such a spoilsport?" Kisame pouted, turning to her.

"I'm all for mental torture, but not when it interrupts my reading," she snapped in reply. Kakashi finally placed her; she had been the one to speak up and dismiss the teacher on the first day of English class. Now he busied himself--getting his mind off of his own predicament--trying to figure out which nationality she was dressed as. He would guess Dutch or one of those Scandinavian countries, but he wasn't good with geography, so he would probably be off.

Her blue hair was braided into pigtails, sticking out slightly because of the short length. She wasn't wearing her usual heavy makeup, instead just sticking with blush to make her cheeks rosy, and she was wearing a white and blue dress that made him think of windmills and tulips and pointy hats. _Was_ that Dutch? Or was it another country he was thinking of?

"This is hardly torture," Kisame replied, reaching over and snapping her book closed. She glared at him; she had just lost her place, thanks to him. "See? _That_ was a form of mental torture."

"No, that was stupidity," she said hotly, smacking him in the shoulder with her book. "And need I remind you how _you_ looked last year--?"

"_Nein!_"

Kakashi perked up. That was right! Sasori and Kisame had had to cross dress last year. "Hey, Konan, are there any pictures of last year's Cultural Week?"

It was obvious what he was asking. Konan smiled at him prettily, setting her book down on her desk. "Why, yes, there are."

Kakashi's day just got a lot better.

…Even if he _was_ in a skirt.

-.-.-

"Smile, everyone!" At lunch, Kabuto ambushed them yet again. Kakashi looked up, mouth full of fries (or chips, as they called them there, apparently), and out of the corner of his eye, he saw several other heads go up. Imagine their collective horror as Kabuto took their picture, looking at the camera, pleased. "That one was pretty good. Kakashi, were the chips really necessary?" he asked, laughing.

Kakashi swallowed. "Yes," he gasped, washing them down with the nearest drink. "I didn't get to eat breakfast, if you recall. And I'm not anorexic like the supermodel over there."

Deidara growled at the nickname, poised to throw a fistful of fries when Kabuto shot him a glare. He set the food back down on his plate, cowed. "Dressing like this just makes me _sick_, yeah."

"If it's any consolation, you both look good," Konan said primly. After coming to Kakashi's rescue in their last class, she joined them for lunch. She was also brandishing pictures of last year's Cultural Week, though no one but she, Kisame and Kakashi knew of that just yet. "Oh--you, too, Kakuzu." The Russian grunted, arms folded over his chest. He was wearing the same dress as yesterday, but at least today he was wearing a shirt and pants underneath.

"Some guys just look good cross dressing," Kakashi said airily, shrugging. He was in too good of a mood, now; he would soon get to see Kisame and Sasori in drag, successfully shutting them both up for the day, _and_ he finally got to eat. Win-win situation.

Though the constant pictures Kabuto was taking were a bit depressing. It meant that next year, these pictures would also be seen by laughing exchange students.

"Deidara, Kakashi, Kakuzu--stand up, all of you. I want to get the full effect," Kabuto said with a smirk.

Kisame reached over and plucked the camera from his grasp. "What about you, huh? We need some pictures of _you_, _mein führer_."

"No! I'm not very photogenic."

"Neither am I when I'm in a dress, yeah," Deidara snarled, making a grab for the camera as well. Kisame held it well out of his grasp, above his head, where the blonde couldn't reach from his spot on the other side of the table. Kakashi ducked his head to avoid the flailing limbs and continued eating, wondering when it would be a good time to ask to see the pictures. Probably when Kisame started acting up again.

"I thought you were all fags _before_." Hidan also decided to join them for lunch, apparently. "But this takes the cake. The whole fucking cake."

"Shut the hell up," Deidara snapped.

"Make me, bitch," Hidan replied without hesitation. Soon, the two of them were at it, arguing loudly, until Kakuzu intervened and pulled them apart. He then sat between them, stopping any further conflicts.

"Such anger you boys have," Konan sighed.

"They're only in a bad mood because of their _ensembles_," Sasori said blandly, sipping his coffee.

"Oh, yes, I quite agree with that," she said with a nod. "…I also remember you being quite irritable this time last year."

Suddenly, the table got deadly quiet. All eyes were on either Konan or Sasori, who were at opposite ends of the table. Sasori narrowed his eyes a bit. "…It is a cause for anyone to get irritable," he replied warily.

"Still, it seems that the cuter you look, the angrier you become. It's some sort of law of Cultural Week. Why, look at Deidara." Konan gestured towards the blonde, much to his annoyance. Sasori relaxed as another was dragged into the conversation, and nodded. He was still on guard, though. "He does look a bit more feminine than you did, though."

"Oh, really?" Kakashi asked, unable to resist.

"Oh, yes. Want to see?"

"_Merde!_" Sasori swore, burying his face in his arms on the table. He knew where that was going.

Kisame took a different approach. As Konan pulled them out of her backpack, he reached over and picked a few out of her hands. He couldn't get quite all of them, however, and she held her hands away from him before he could take any of the others. "Give me them--!"

"No!" she replied with a chuckle, passing them around.

Kisame's face joined Sasori's in the buried-in-their-arms group.

"I was wondering when these would surface," Kabuto said innocently, looking at one of them before passing it on to Kakashi. "I remember taking a few of these. Oh--that one I distinctly remember. Luckily, I didn't take it. Hidan did. And right after he did, Kisame decided he'd had enough and punched him in the face. Knocked him out and nearly broke his nose."

"It was a lucky shot," Hidan huffed. Most ignored him, though he did elicit a small chuckle from Kakuzu.

"I like your beret, Sasori," Kakashi said with a grin, finally getting his first glimpse of last year's Cultural Week. Sasori didn't take his head up from his arms, but instead raised one hand, two fingers. Kakashi looked to Kabuto for help; a peace sign?

"He is… Well, it's the British version of that gesture," he said helplessly, pointing at Hidan, who, always happy to help explain customs, was holding up his middle finger.

"Oh, cool." The British even had a cooler way to flip someone off. His awe was short-lived, though, since the next photograph was a full-body shot of both Kisame and Sasori.

"I want to see!" Deidara exclaimed, reaching across the table to take it from a laughing Kakashi's grasp. He, too, cracked up and passed it on to Kakuzu. "Th-That's amazing, yeah! Very artistic, Sasori. Was the fishnet comfortable?"

"At least he didn't have to shave his legs," Kisame grumbled. That only set off a new round of laughter, and a bit of relief for the two Americans; they hadn't been forced into shaving, at least.

"I _knew_ there was something I forgot…" Kabuto said to himself.

"I think Sasori is wearing the same beret," Konan added smugly. And, to the others' collective amusement, it turned out that he was.

Cultural Week seemed to end soon after that; nothing could compare to the drama of getting the two American students into drag and the embarrassment of the veterans. Or maybe, perhaps it was the fact that too many other things happened that made the time fly by. Having a mock Triwizard Tournament for all of the Brits dressed as Harry Potter characters, Kabuto getting stalked and hugged by several enthusiastic girls after dressing as the Doctor (whoever that was, Kakashi didn't know; he just kept them away), Haku getting carried off _again_ by similarly enthusiastic girls, and Kisame recruiting several of the younger students into his supposedly harmless, supposedly fake Nazi group were only a few of the highlights.

Kabuto and Hidan emailing the parents of all of the exchange students with pictures of their children in full stereotype (and drag, in some cases) wasn't a highlight, though.


End file.
